[Frank is in the shower] Frank, can I ask you something? [Frank grunts] Do you believe in God? I mean, the evidence is thin, but I think God is real... [Frank grunts] ...which means so is Hell. [Frank groans] Say you did something bad by accident. Do you still go down there and get tortured by demons?
[Pokes head aside of shower curtains] Little hard to masturbate when you keep asking me questions about Catholicism, kid. It's fine. I give up anyway. Son, Hell, much like prisons, is just a way to frighten people into submission. You can buy a pardon from the Catholic Church, be absolved of your sins, just like you can buy a judge. It's the oldest scam in the book.
How much is a pardon?
More than you'll ever have. If you're worried about something, go confess. Light some candles, say some Hail Marys, and voila , you're back on God's good side, unless, of course, you did something really bad. Then you'll be tormented in the deepest depths of Hell for eternity.
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