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S1 E15

Shameless · Season 1, Episode 15

Mickey, Ian and others in “Unfinished Business”

Ugh! Get the fսck off me!

What's your problem?!

I'm sick of the smell of goddamn mayonnaise. It's like getting screwed by a bowl of potato salad every morning.

It's the only lube we have in this shithole.

Well, it makes me wanna gag every time you come near me.

Oh, yeah, 'cause you taking a shit every night at 8:15 is a real fսckin' bed of roses.

At least my shit gets flushed, unlike your coleslaw-smellin' dіck.

Can't be 8:30, can it? Or seven o'clock? No, Mickey has to shit every night at the exact same time. That's annoying.

NCNeighboring cell inmate

Shut up!

Is it? Is it as annoying as the way you lick your finger every single time you turn the page of whatever faggoty-ass book you're reading? Okay. "My name's Ian. I can't turn the page like a normal human being. I have to put my whole goddamn paw in my mouth."

You know what? If you actually knew how to read, maybe you'd understand, not, "Look at these fսcking [Mickey displays gesture] squiggle-dings all over this piece of paper!"

NCNeighboring cell inmate 1

Every morning, the same shit! man: You're like old women!

NCNeighboring cell inmate 2

I came to prison to get away from my parents.

Eat my cornhole, cocks!

NCNeighboring cell inmate 1

Not if it smells like mayonnaise.

Exactly! [Buzzer blares ]

GGuard

Let's go! Line it up!

Hey. I wanna see the warden about getting a new roommate.

GGuard

What is this, fսckin' summer camp? [Shoves Ian aside] Get your ass to breakfast!

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