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S1 E15

Shameless · Season 1, Episode 15

Frank and Carl in “Unfinished Business”

Hey, could I talk to you upstairs? I'll be right back.

All right, what do you want, Frank?

Kelly seems nice. A little sad.

Yeah, well, she's not sad.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I recognize that vacant stare. I've known a lot of women, Carl. And that woman is not getting what she wants in bed.

Shut up, Frank.

You know what it is. She wants sex. Ten times a day. Not fucking snack time. Act like a Gallagher, for the love of God.

Okay, I can have sex anytime, anywhere.

Oh, bullshit. I got 20 bucks that says you can't go in that bathroom...

That's a hundred.

Holy crap. Well, 20 of it says you can't go in that bathroom right now and rub one out in under three minutes. I'm trying to help you. If that woman downstairs yells, "Jump," you better answer, "How hard?"

Make it a hundred.

No. The bet's 20. No, wait. Fine. Fine. Fine. Okay. Fine. It's all right. Jesus Christ. A hundred.

[Frank hands him cup] What the fuck is that?

I gotta have proof. You want me to come in there with you and watch? Under three minutes. No lube, no saliva.

[Takes cup] No problem.

Hey, Carl. Remember the time we walked in on Aunt Ginger and saw her tits?

Hey, Frank. Shut the fuck up.

Were they something? Been watching this thing on the, uh, nature channel about hippopotamuses, their balls... All right, all right. That's just cheating. Their dicks are about two feet long. Sorta pink. Slimy pink things. Big bulbous head on it.

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