[Gibbering man wheeled out door in wheelchair]
Is that my Jen?!
No, it's just some crazy dude. What's so special about this chick we're waiting for, anyway?
Well, son, it's a great gift in this life to know what you're good at. And, uh, I'm good at crazy. I'm a caretaker to it. Makes me feel needed. It's how I felt with your mother. Plus, it's never boring. Look at this. [Takes off shoe and sock showing burn scar on foot sole]
What the hell is that?
[Laughs] Monica. I was asleep. Decided she was gonna light me on fire, one body part at a time.
Why?
Hard to say with a crazy person. That's the thrill. You never know what you're gonna get, moment to moment. Thankfully, she passed out before she could torch the rest of my body. I'd given up trying to find excitement like that again, till now. I'm gonna get some more of those, um, fudge stripes, and then I'll tell you about the time Monica shattered my kneecap with a pool cue. It was the best sex of my life.
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