Frank and Debbie in “Unfinished Business”

Frank

[Chuckles] I'm gonna be a grandfather. From the bowels of death, new life. A new Gallagher.

Debbie

Yeah, and Fiona's pregnant too.

Frank

Shut up! [Chuckles] A double grandfather.

Debbie

Yeah, but Fiona doesn't want to have hers, and she's trying to force me to get rid of mine too. She says I'm too young.

Frank

She's wrong. Scientifically wrong. Biologically speaking, you're in your prime childbearing years. Actually, a little beyond them. If Fiona waits much longer, she's gonna have babies that look like wombats. Her labia will stretch halfway to her knees. Men wanting to do cunnilingus will require a straw. [Laughs] No, no, no, no, no, no. This is your time, Debs. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Debbie

But what about Fiona?

Frank

She can't force you to do anything. You have the right to control your own body. But Fiona has that right too. Well, we won't let her. I had to handcuff Monica to the bed when she was pregnant with Carl. I kept her loaded for months until he was too big to abort.

Debbie

Yeah, I don't think Sean's gonna go for that.

Frank

Who's Sean?

Debbie

Her boyfriend.

Frank

I thought she was married. Never mind. I'll talk to her.

Debbie

Okay. Maybe we all should talk to her.

Frank

Absolutely. We'll talk more after school, all right? I got to run now. I can't be late for my cancer support group.

Debbie

Wait, Frank. Do you have cancer?

Frank

Not that I know of. [Knocks on head] Knock wood.