[J.D. is set up on a blind date with a patient's niece]
[Thinking] I gotta thank Mrs. Nichols for setting this up.
[A woman walks in, and is at least twice J.D.'s age]
[Thinking] Oh, Mrs. Nichols, you blue-haired bitch.
[The woman walks away and a hot girl walks in]
[Thinking] Oh, Mrs. Nichols, your new hip is on the house because this girl is amazing. And yet there is something so accessible about her, I wonder what it is?
[The girl collides with a server and flips a table over]
Oh, I'm gonna have the carrot cake.
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