[picking up some of Chanel's clothes] I have to say, Chanel, I am delighted and shocked that you're letting me keep whatever clothes I want. It's really big of you, considering the whole "I'm pregnant with your boyfriend's baby" thing.
Well, honestly, the more I thought about it, I just realized that I love Chad so much, and part of loving someone is loving every choice they make, regardless of how selfish and destructive it is, you know?
[picks up Chanel's kimono] Thank you, Mommy. Oh, and if you want to start calling me Mommy, now being that I'm the one that's gonna actually be the mommy, I'm totally fine with that.
Number 6, before you try on that kimono, why haven't you had any of this sushi? I mean, we got it just for you.
Mm, don't mind if I do! [eats the sushi] Mmm. That's so good. Mm-hmm.
Oh, and do yourself a favor. [shows the cheese] Have a little slice of that soft, unpasteurized cheese. [Hester eats the cheese] It makes any sushi that much more delicious.
Mmm! You're right.
Oh, and, Hester, you have got to taste this champagne. [holds the two glasses of champagne] It's a special champagne with triple the alcohol and a... nicotine-y mouth feel, because it's infused with tobacco.
[Hester takes the glass and sips.]
Mmm, De-lish!
[Chanel knocks the wineglass off of Hester's hand.]
Liar!
What the hell is going on?!
[Number 5 and Number 3 closes the closet doors]
You're trapped in a web of lies, whore! You just had sushi, soft cheese and alcohol! Three foods that are damaging to embryos! Which means, you're not pregnant!
That's not true! I didn't know anything about the whole... sushi-cheese-alcohol thing!
Fine! Prove it. You're not leaving this room until you've peed on every single one of these pregnancy tests!
[Number 5 and Number 3 shows the thermometers to Hester.]
[chuckles] Hmm..., I had all three of you fooled, didn't I?! Fine! You got me, I'm not pregnant!
[Chanel gasps in excitement]
But it doesn't matter, [Chanel was stunned] because Chad still thinks that I am and being that he already purchased our first-class airfare to the Hamptons. That means that I'll be the one attending Thanksgiving where I'll have ample opportunity to get pregnant all weekend long!
[Hester walks away, leaving Chanel and her minions shocked and upset.]
[screeching] I'LL KILL YOU, NECKBRAAAACE!!!
[Hester continues to walk off, ignoring Chanel who screams in anger and frustration. Chanel tries to follow her.]
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Scream Queens quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scream Queens pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.


