Now let's see who this mysterious woman stealer really is.
(Velma unmasks Dandy Highwayman)
The librarian?
Like, seriously? But you're not even British.
I'm so confused. Why?
It's simple, really. You spend a life reading about other people's exciting adventures and never, never, never have one of your own. It's awful. (sadly) I'm so lonely.
Jinkies. How did I miss that one?
I never really had any friends growing up. All I had were my books. For years I stayed in my room and read about incredible adventures, other people's adventures. Then, I got an idea, I was going to become the Dandy Highwayman. I was going to be the king of adventures and adored by women everywhere. I studied how to do an English accent. I incorporated a motorcycle helmet into my costume's hat and practiced my motorcycle skills for hours and hours. Then, I discovered something unimaginable: the key to a woman's total admiration and devotion. All you have to do is pay attention to them when they're talking. CRAZY, isn't it? It wasn't until I started to moderate the book club that I learned how to listen. From there, I actually became interested in what women have to say. Before long, I was fully engaged in their desires and feelings. I was living in the dream. And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling romance killers.
I'm not buying it for a second. You put some kind of voodoo MAGIC SPELL on them, you did.
Never. I just listened, that's all. Except when the going got tough. I had a little help. (uncovers the earplugs) These earplugs were the only magic I used.
I knew it! I knew there was some kind of trick involved. Listening to women? Who ever heard of such a thing?!
(Mayor Nettles and Daphne arrive)
Jeepers! The librarian? I kind of feel bad for him. You know, he never really abducted the wives. They said they went with him willingly because he was mysteriously charming and--
We know, we know. The whole listening and paying attention thing. We get it already. Whatever.
(Sheriff Stone and deputy take the Librarian into custody)
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