TV show quotes
Don't you ever knock?
Don't you ever stop lying?
I didn't want company. Big deal.
Really? Because two months from now when you decide to have Wiley over for another booty call, he's going to be in the hospital with a brain tumor the size of a grapefruit. I'm just lying, but no big deal.
Get anything from the sketch?
Got a guy who wants to know if the body is available for dating.
Gotta be a Longhorn fan.
This is all your fault.
My fault? You didn't even know me when you told Rhetta that whopper.
It wasn't that big a deal. It wasn't like I planted the damn butt.
It was a big deal to Rhetta.
He was a serial rapist! He hurt a lot of people.
There's always going to be a bigger jackass than you. It doesn't excuse the lie you told.
Tell me the truth.
About what?
About you and Ham.
He's my partner.
You know what I mean, Grace. Damn it, Grace, are you sleeping with my husband?
No.
I can't do this anymore. You not talking to me. It's worse than that time in third grade when sister Mildred separated us for a week because we ate all her peanut brittle.
That was some good peanut brittle.
I'm sorry, Rhetta. Really truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
Are you sorry for lying, for telling me, or for doing it in the first place?
Yeah. All of that.
It wasn't any fun for me, either.
Dewey says I smell nice. How come you never notice things like that?
As soon as I get the gasoline and the barbecued human flesh smell out of my nostrils, I'll be sure to sniff you up.
Can you match a hoof print to a specific horse?
Only if The Who is playing in the background.
Is that a no?
That's a no.
Don't cancel the cruise.
You remember what happened?
I got shot. I mean it. The last thing I need is Paige coming at me with a bedpan.
You're going to have to take it easy for a while, so you get mom or you get me. You know I'm a better cook. You get mom, you get her meatloaf. Thank God you were wearing a vest.
What about Kane?
He's hanging on. If he can make it through the night --
[touches her forehead] Shit, Johnny. Did you give me last rights? God damn it.
I don't like this getting shot. So let's say this is the last time, okay? Take it easy!
It's just a bruise.
A bruise?! For God's sake, Grace, you were dead.
You know, you've got to talk to me if you want this to count as a clerical visit.
I don't wanna talk about God.
Okay.
You lie, you're going to hell.
Should I be worried about you?
No, I have Rhetta for that.
Butch, I didn't bust your Vince Young bobblehead.
I figure it's Ham.
It's not Ham.
I'm not ever going to know, am I?
If I figure it out, I'll tell you.
I just need to be careful.
Me too.
Will I ever get another one?
Do you want another one?
A guy can't ever get enough bobbleheads.
I'm in town helping out a friend.
Good luck.
She don't want my help.
Maybe she does and just doesn't know how to ask for it.
She thinks she can do everything all by herself. I keep telling her nobody can, but the girl is stubborn.
She's got a lot of sharp edges? Any way you try to hold her you're going to get hurt.
Let me ask you something. How do you go about saving somebody who maybe doesn't want to be saved?
You figure that one out, you let me know. I don't think you've got much choice. No matter how mad you get, you love her. What are you going to do, you know?
[amidst the rubble of a tornado] There's always a bird singing somewhere, Grace.
Nice act of God you've got going here.
Not my favorite.
I got pissed off. I left. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.
Do you want to work alone?
No, Ham. Today, when I got trapped, I was thinking if you were with me you wouldn't have let me go in the building.
You would have gone anyway.
Yeah, but you would have come with me.
Duke, Eddie, Chris and Snake.
Yeah?
Four partners in six years.
A bunch of pussies.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Saving Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
