Grace Trevor Hanadarko quotes from Saving Grace

Grace

[turns and is surprised to find Earl right behind her] Jesus, Earl! Announce yourself! Wind, wing flap, something!

I just got a call from the chief, who just got off the phone with the governor, who had just spoken to the richest cattleman in Oklahoma. Do you know who that is?

Grace

No.

You just knocked him on his ass.

Grace

That guy? Shit. Alvin something.

Alvin Green and you've got to apologize.

Grace

The guy was a dick.

Rhetta

So, what are you going to say to Earl the next time you see him?

Grace

Get the hell out of my dream.

Rhetta

Don't you want to get a list of questions together? I would!

Grace

Like what?

Rhetta

Like: Is Jesus the son of God? Was he conceived by the Holy Spirit? What happens when we die?!

Grace

What's the deal with cramps?

Rhetta

You said Earl looks like any normal guy from Oklahoma, right?

Grace

Yeah. A normal guy.

Rhetta

The stain on your shirt was tobacco and saliva, but the saliva had no genetic material in it.

Grace

What's that mean?

Rhetta

It means that Earl has no human DNA or plant or animal cells.

Grace

Well what's that mean?

Rhetta

He's another form of life. It means he's an angel, Grace.

Grace

Well, shit.

Rhetta

What's up?

Grace

Earl cooked me breakfast this morning.

Rhetta

He cooked you breakfast?

Grace

He's going to be a huge pain in the ass.

Rhetta

Grace, God has chosen you. God has chosen you. For whatever reason he's given you an angel and you're calling him a pain in the ass. Do you want to get struck by lightning?

Grace

Heard you're selling your truck for a little moped.

They can take my truck when they pry the keys from my cold, dead fingers.

Grace

Haha! Sounds fun!

tempting

Grace

How much longer, Rhetta?

Rhetta

A while. I have grown so weary of discovering new places for semen stains.

Perry

Seeing you outside that sleazy hooker motel, it made me nostalgic. Teary eyed!

Grace

What about you? Doing a flight deck walk across the parking lot?

Perry

Always inspires, especially in these heels. I'm so glad I get to order your ass around!

Grace

You get to try!

Perry

Okay, who are the assholes, who do I need to watch out for, and who are you screwing? Oh, please don't tell me it's that cowboy with the longhorn buckle.

Grace

I try not to hold that against him. He's a local boy.

Perry

He went to UT!

Grace

Played quarterback for 'em!

Perry

Gracie! What has happened to you! You used to have standards! Not much taste, but standards!

Grace

I remember once when you spent the night. We were like eleven and Johnny was in charge and we wanted popcorn, but he said no because it was lent. So I made some anyway but put too much butter on it and we both got sick. Remember.

Rhetta

No.

Grace

Johnny said God made us throw up to punish us.

Rhetta

Johnny's always been a tightass.

Earl

That's nice. You should send it to him.

Grace

I'm not sending it to anybody. I'm in a dead spot.

Earl

Try it now.

Grace

So you can handle cell phone coverage, but tornadoes, earthquakes, you let that slide?

Earl

That's too much paperwork.

Ham

Has he converted you, yet?

Grace

To what?

Ham

I don't know. Did he make you regret anything you like to do? Especially with me?

Grace

Yes, Ham, from now on, only our souls can screw.

Grace

You're an asshole.

Earl

You need to broaden your vocabulary.

Earl

Still seeing Ham? That's a yes.

Grace

I don't need your shit this morning, Earl.

Earl

Still cussing.

Grace

I'm late for work.

Earl

Still lying.

Grace

Don't you have to be in Cleveland or something?

Earl

Still a smartass. I hope he's grading on a curve this week.

Ham

You gonna deck him again?

Grace

Do you want me to?

Ham

Yeah. Show me your stuff.

Grace

You can't handle my stuff, Dewey.