[to Helen] I love the hair.
S2 E9Penance
[on phone] Destroy your walkie right now!
[drops her walkie, stomps on it] Now, tell me why I just did that.
[Jimmy revives Kate with mouth-to-mouth]
What happened?
Oh, nothing much; you, uh, stopped breathing, so I, uh, took the opportunity to make out with you.
So, Cubs or Sox?
Seriously? If I wanted to fat guys running around I'd watch Reality TV.
Wow! And you say you're from Chicago. Next you'll be telling me you don't like pizza.
My dad was a Cubs fan; so I guess that makes me one too.
Yeah... See? I knew I should have left that bullet in.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear; if you have touched so much as one hair on Will Zimmerman's head, there is not enough real estate on this Earth to keep you safe from me.
Yeah. Well, I'm off to see Sally. Hey, what kind of thank-you gift do you get for a mermaid?
Oh! She really likes it if you swim with her.
Huh... I'll get my suit.
Ah... [smiles] No suit.
It's funny. I always wondered what I would do if I ever figured out who killed my father. Turns out it's not as black and white as I thought.
Life rarely is.
S2 E10Sleepers
Hey, you know, this would be a lot easier with Henry's help.
He's unavailable.
Why, again?
[flustered pause] He's... on a mission of utmost importance, I was sworn to absolute secrecy.
Wait a second... San Diego Comic Con? That's the mission of utmost importance?
You did not hear it from me.
Wealthy parents ship their drug-addled teenagers to me. They arrive, their poor little bodies wracked by the best designer drugs trust funds can buy - it breaks your heart. But then, after one week of treatment, I send them home to mater and pater completely cured of all addictions.
Woah woah woah, one week? That's impossible.
Which part of "I am a genius" aren't you getting?
[to Helen] I notice you do seem a bit on edge. Might I suggest one of our green tea detox massages? It makes you feel 100 again.
The little bastard. [slams laptop closed] This was supposed to be my party! Nobody hijacks Nikola Tesla!
DDarrin
Look, Chad, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about all this.
CChad
What, you're going to bail because of one screw up?
DDarrin
[pointing to corpse on floor] That's what you call dead Steve?
Nikola Tesla [referring to the vampire race] There was a time when we sighed...and the world trembled.
Nikola Tesla [angrily] You turned what was supposed to be a symphony into rock 'n' roll! French Canadian rock 'n' roll!
CChad
You know I was hoping you'd be a bit more cooperative.
Yeah, well, life's a bitch and then you don't die.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sanctuary pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.