Sanctuary · Season 2, Episode 10
“Sleepers” · Season 2, Episode 10
In this episode: Nikola Tesla (8), Doctor Helen Magnus (5), Doctor Will Zimmerman (3), Kate Freelander (3)
Hey, you know, this would be a lot easier with Henry's help.
He's unavailable.
Why, again?
[flustered pause] He's... on a mission of utmost importance, I was sworn to absolute secrecy.
Wait a second... San Diego Comic Con? That's the mission of utmost importance?
You did not hear it from me.
Wealthy parents ship their drug-addled teenagers to me. They arrive, their poor little bodies wracked by the best designer drugs trust funds can buy - it breaks your heart. But then, after one week of treatment, I send them home to mater and pater completely cured of all addictions.
Woah woah woah, one week? That's impossible.
Which part of "I am a genius" aren't you getting?
[to Helen] I notice you do seem a bit on edge. Might I suggest one of our green tea detox massages? It makes you feel 100 again.
The little bastard. [slams laptop closed] This was supposed to be my party! Nobody hijacks Nikola Tesla!
Look, Chad, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about all this.
What, you're going to bail because of one screw up?
[pointing to corpse on floor] That's what you call dead Steve?
Nikola Tesla [referring to the vampire race] There was a time when we sighed...and the world trembled.
Nikola Tesla [angrily] You turned what was supposed to be a symphony into rock 'n' roll! French Canadian rock 'n' roll!
You know I was hoping you'd be a bit more cooperative.
Yeah, well, life's a bitch and then you don't die.
You call this a plan? Whatever happened to The good old stake through the heart?
Doesn’t work.
What about all those movies, like Buffy…
Misinformation propaganda. Spread by the vampires themselves— Confuse the enemy, preserve the race.
What about exposing them to sunlight or garlic?
All you get is tanned vampires with bad breath.
Besides, we don’t want to kill them. We want to help them.
No, I’m thinking kill them.
Yeah. Trust-fund vampires? I’m thinking she’s right.
Granted, but it wasn’t their choice. They may be rich, spoiled, insolent children, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t save them.
[Kate and Will look at each other skeptically.]
That’s a terrible sales pitch.
Yeah.
So it's just us against a bunch of bad ass bloodsuckin' immortals, huh? Well, it's a good thing we have our magic glass stick that we don't know how to use. Otherwise, I would be worried.
[Helen, Kate, and Will have been captured by Tesla's vampire lackeys]
Well, well, well, the appetizers have arrived.
Well this is the last time I come to your rescue!
I've often wondered what this moment would be like: me, you, tied up. It's a shame you brought the children.
Focus, Nikola.
I call it... the De-Vamper!
You're a genius and that is the best name you could come up with?
[Points at Kate] Watch it!
Forgive me, Helen. It's just my soul-crushing depression talking. I'm not myself.
On the contrary; you are your real self again: human, mortal-
Watch your language.
I'm sorry, Nikola, but it's true. I've tried everything I can think of. There's simply no way to "re-vamp" you.
You see how this puts a crimp in my plans for world domination? Not to say I won't keep trying.
I would expect nothing less.
Very well, if this is to be a wake, then lets do it properly. Join me in a toast: To happier times, to those halcyon times of blood lust, now gone. Plus you got to admit vampires are just plain cool.
[laughing] Amen.
Here's to the glorious vampire race, once mighty, now extinct.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sanctuary pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
