Samurai Jack quotes

Emperor

HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS BURNING! YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR PURPOSE! YOU HAVE FORSAKEN US!

Any mistake is certain death and death is our failure.

[Catch Ashi taking a peek outside] Bask in the glory of what our master has created. Admire its beauty, but know that the samurai is out there leaving a wake of devastation wherever he goes. That's why my sweet Ashi The Daughters of Aku must stay focused. Never relent, always attack. [Throw Ashi towards a giant priestess] Teach this one a lesson!

Are you weak? Are you weak? ARE YOU WEAK! [Ashi gets up and continues] Good. Aku's fire stirs inside all of you.

[After her daughters have completed their training] Your training is complete. Go! Kill! You are 7, but now you wear the face of 1. 1 purpose for which you were born: To kill the Samurai!

[upon meeting Jack for the first time] Samurai Jack! Man, it is good to see you, babe! What took you so long? I decimated this village days ago. Just for you! Wait, this is you, right? I mean, who could recognize you with all that gear and ruggedness, baby? I'll tell you who. Me! [scats and in sing song voice] Scaramouch the Merciless! [normal voice] The Pied Piper of Ruination, the Crooner of Carnage, the Ambassador of Annihilation, the Eradicator of All, baby! Also known as...Aku's most favorite assassin, babe. [Jack scowls a bit] Oh, there it is, babe. The world famous scowl. Well, come on, Sammy baby, whip it out! You know what I'm talking about. That cra-a-azy sword. Let's get slicin' and dicin', swingin' and bashin', hackin' and slashin', babe! [notices something off] Wait, back off a sec there, beardsly. [points down to Jack's waist] Where...is your sword? Huh? I don't see it. Oh? [chuckles some] No, no, no, no, NO, babe! Don't tell me. You lost...your sword? [Jack flashes back to the moment he lost his sword when he accidentally dropped it in a green abyss]

[snorting laughter] Okay, Jacky baby, you just make with the scowl while I make with the phone and call up Aku. [he gets out his phone and makes beep sounds while dialing for Aku]

Aku

[picks up the phone] Who is this?!

Aku, baby! How's it hangin', boss? Guess what I jus-

Aku

What??? HELLO!

Master, new arrivals have come to offer tribute!

O, Great Shogun of Sorrow, Master of All Masters, you have allowed us to inhabit this world, and for that, we are forever grateful.

[as another mud alien pushes a mud statue of Aku's likeness] We offer you a special tribute.

Aku

STOP! L-Look at what you are doing! You're getting yourselves all over the floor!

Uh...

Aku

I just had it vacuumed! Out! OUT! GET OUT!

Master... Master, we've done it. May I introduce... the most epic version of the beetle drone yet! [hologram shows a humongous beetle drone]

Aku

And I care because?

B-Because the samurai. You've wanted to kill him since forever. He's the bane of your existence.

Aku

Oh! That was the old Aku! This is the new Aku! And he really doesn't care about the pathetic samurai who wanders around like a mad fool. [laughs] It's hilarious. Really! Look, I tell you what. You want to destroy him? Go ahead. Who cares? I certainly don't. Not one bit at all.

Dr. Aku

So, tell me what's been bothering you.

Aku

Well, you see, Doc, it's been over 50 years already.

Dr. Aku

It's been that long?

Aku

Yes. You see, that's the actual problem. Once I eradicated all the time portals, I thought I would just wait it out, and then the Samura—

Dr. Aku

We don't say his name here. It is a safe place.

Aku

Yes, yes... sorry, Doctor​. Well, I-I just assumed that eventually over time, he would just—

DIIIIIIIIIIEEE!

Aku

But he hasn't even aged. I mean, like, at all. He just grew that stupid beard. It looks like he'll be here forever! I...I just don't know if I can handle that.

Dr. Aku

Yes, it seems that the initial time travel has affected the aging process. It's quite the conundrum.

Aku

Yes... Uh, what is that again?

Dr. Aku

Just a confusing or difficult problem.

Aku

Yes. Problem. I wish there was someone who can dispose of my problem.

Yes. One can hope.

It's time to end it, don't you think?

Never. They are just machines. I'll find a way. I always have.

When you had the sword, but now it's gone! There's no hope!

I've been doing fine without it.

Well, listen to you. And what are you going to do when Aku finds you and realizes you have no sword?

Aku doesn't know, and he hasn't shown himself in years. He keeps thinking that one of his machines can defeat me.

Maybe he's right. You haven't faced anything so powerful! How much longer can you keep this up?!

It always seems bad at first, but then I find a way. They're just nuts and bolts... Just nuts and bolts.

Who cares anymore!? There's no way home! There's nothing to fight for! There's no more honor! Come to think of it, the only honorable thing to do is...

Quiet.

NO! I WON'T SPEND ETERNITY IN THIS FORSAKEN TIME!

What do you want from me?

I want it to end. Aren't you tired? Wouldn't it be great to be free of all of this? Our ancestors are waiting for us. They want you to join them.

There.

You'll never make it! They'll get you!

I'll make it.

Emperor

The decisions you make and the actions that follow are a reflection of who you are. You cannot hide from yourself.

Look at you.

You survived worse. [Jack groans] This isn't about your pathetic little cut. It's about that girl you killed! [Jack keeps groaning] We've never killed a human before, have we? Sure, mountains of robot corpses. But this? This was the first human being. Real flesh and blood. [zips to the hole] What happens when the others find you? You'll have to kill them, too. Can you? [zips back to Jack] Will you be able to when the time comes? Maybe they will kill you... Or is that what you want?

[groans] No...

You have chosen this path. Life works in strange and mysterious ways. Your choices have clearly led you here, as have mine. I will give you a new choice: Leave here now and live... or stay and face your destiny.

Our destiny is your death!

So... I guess you're staying. Perhaps I was unclear.

Enough words! Show yourself, Samurai, so you can die!

Very well. The decisions you make and the actions that follow are a reflection—

Shut up!

...Of who you truly are.

Ashi

You worthless scum! I will kill you! You can never escape from Aku! You will die! You will die a horrible death! And Aku will sing, for he is free of the parasite that you are! Die, Samurai! DIE, SAMURAI! DIE, DIE, DIE! DIE, SCUM! YOU WILL DIIIIE!

Ashi

Die! Die! Why won't you die?! Scum, Aku will be triumphant! I will undo the evil that is you, Samurai! I will kill you as long as I have breath in my body! I will strike you down! Long live the glory of Aku!

...You are very troubled, and very confused. Aku is the evil one, not me. I have known of machines that are programmed with such hate and lies, but never a human.

Ashi

Deceiver! Worm! Scum!

Now you're just repeating yourself.

[to himself] I wonder if it is possible for her to believe that Aku is evil and not me.

Ashi

Lecherous snake!

Mm, perhaps not.

Ashi

By Aku's will, you will die in here! There is no hope for you, foolish samurai! Aku is the Master of Masters and will end you! No matter what you have planned for me, I will never buckle, never waver! Your death is certain! Aku desires it! Aku has made a world of wonders and you have soiled it! Aku is the father of all fathers! His greatness cannot be measured! You are a parasite, Samurai, feeding off Aku's generosity! Aku, my master, this fool knows not of your greatness, your kindness, your understanding!

ENOUGH! Every thing, every word, every thought that you know is wrong! Aku - Aku is the one who has laid waste to the beauty of this world! He has destroyed Mother Nature! Where do you think we are?! Aku has summoned these monstrosities into our world and they feed off of his carnage!

Ashi

LIAR!

Believe what you may. But if you open your eyes and let go of the hate, you will see the truth.

Ashi

...Die.

Jack! What are we doing, Jack?

Waiting.

Waiting for what? You know the way out. Let's just go.

No...she's another innocent.

Innocent? Are you mad? She is pure evil.

She has lost her way.

[giggles] You'd know about that, wouldn't you?

I don't want to talk to you anymore.

Well, then, maybe you'll talk to ME.

Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you either! I don't know why you keep bringing this up!

Look, why do you always need to get involved?! She chose her way and now *she* has to suffer the consequences!

You'll never understand that it's all my fault! She is here because of me.

[suddenly smirks] She's gone.

[shocked] What? [Jack runs to the location of where Ashi was and looks up to see the crab monster, taking Ashi along with it]

Okay, so that's that. Now let's get out of here!

No! [he pulls from the ground a clubbing stick]

[groans or sighs] You're gonna save her life again, aren't you?

Yes.

[to Ashi] You're welcome, by the way.

Ashi

I'd be happier as that creature's excrement than ever be grateful to you!

[to Jack] What did you expect? A hug and kiss?