Samurai Jack quotes

Scotsman

: Sounds like someone's stepping on a cat. Sounds like someone's stepping a lot of cats.

My friend, you have done so much already. Allow me to honor your deeds. I shall row.

The Scotsman

Nice try, I'm drivin'.

Jump good.

Scotsman

Yeah, yeah.

Scotsman

Well now, ya don't see that every day.

Scotsman

Yeah, keep walking, zombie boy.

Aren't you a little short for a demonic minion?

Hm? Oh, the uniform. [rips off his disguise] I am called Jack, and I am here to rescue you.

Aku

Yes, chamberlain, what pitiable persons have you brought before my all-enshrouding Aku-ishness?

Trespassers who invaded the wasteland shore without proper clearance and tariffs, my lord.

Aku

Hmm... Well, what have you to say for yourselves?

Great lord, Aku, I am Verbina, princess of the Lebidopterins. My brother, Astor, and our assistant, Chitron 6.

Salutations, oh most majestic one! I must say it's an honor! [Astor elbows the android to keep him quiet]

We humbly beg your forgiveness for our trespass. We meant no offense and certainly no conspiracy. We are on an urgent mission. For our homeworld, Chrystallis, is under attack. Our ancient enemies, the vile Squoomians, have returned from the depths to lay siege on our capital! [while the alien princess talks, Jack flashes back to the traumatic past of how Aku laid siege on his father's kingdom during his childhood] As the palace burned, our parents sent us into space with orders to recall our star navy and bring them home to repel this heinous attack. But our ship was damaged and forced us to land. Again, we appealed to you, most wise and powerful one. We ask only time enough to repair our ship, so that we may depart and trouble you no more, o gracious Aku.

You don't know how to fly this thing, do you?

Uhh....I like to walk.

You can't do that! These are royal heirs to the throne of Chrystalis. You can't just-

Chitron!

Aku

Oh, I certainly can! I am Aku! This world is Aku and everything in it is Aku! Now, shoo these moths away!

You beast! You devil! VILLAIN!!

Aku

[as he nearly saw Jack] Hmm... strange. I thought I sensed a presence.

We really did it! Oh, thank you, Jack. Thank you!

Yes, Jack. Thank you.

You risked your life to help us, but yet, we are strangers. How can we possibly show our gratitude?

Save your home.

What?

We're not such strangers as you may think. Our stories are very much similar and alike. For you see...I, too, was a prince. Given charge to save my land. But I...I could not let your story end like mine. With Aku!

Your story's not over yet.

Go to your people. There is not much time to lose.

Yes, Your Majesty.

[he flies into the ship] Wing well, Jack!

[she does the same] We won't forget you!

Aku!

Aku

[dryly] Yes, it is I, Samurai Jack. [rolls his eyes] How incredibly observant you are.

Aku

Oh, put that thing away, Samurai. We all know what's gonna happen. You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away, and probably say something like "I'LL BE BACK, SAMURAI!" And then I'll flutter over the horizon, and we probably won't see each other for about a week. And then we'll do the same thing all over again.

Your wordplay will not trick me, villain! [he goes to attack Aku]

Aku

No, wait! [Aku transforms into a bat and flutters away over the horizon] I'LL BE BACK AGAIN, SAMURAI! YOU'LL SEE! [laughs evilly, then reappears in front of Jack] See what I mean?

Aku

[gets out a phone and dials phone number, laughing] Yes, I can hold... Yes... I would like to place an order for delivery... Aku... I think I'm in the computer... Yes, that's it! I'd like a large- What? Huh?... Extra thick!... 30 minutes or it's free - EXCELLENT! [laughs, but stops when he hears the other end hang up]

That pillar did not move by itself, Aku!

Aku

YES, IT DID!

One, no superhuman powers. Two, no evil minions to assist you. And three, no shapeshifting. You come in human form.

Aku

Hey, that was four things.

The last one was a two-parter.