She took all her clothes off and stood there in front of me, completely naked. I was so excited I nearly dropped me skateboard!
Skateboard? How old were you?
Twelve.
Twelve?! Twelve years old? Twelve?! (pause) You can't have been a full member of the golf club, then.
Of course I wasn't!
You did it on a golf course and you weren't a member?
'Course I wasn't!
Didn't pay any green fees or anything?
It was just a place to go!
I used to play golf, I hate people who abuse the facilities! I hope you raked the sand back nicely after you'd finished. Imagine getting your ball stuck in Lister's buttock crevice. You'd need more than a niblick to get that out.
Are you saying I've got a big bum?
Big? It's like two badly parked Volkswagens.
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