[singing] I'm gonna get you, little kitty, I'm gonna get you...
[He stops dead when he sees the Dog, looks straight at the camera]
I don't know what that is, but I'm sure he wants to eat me.
Well, trash my shorts, what a funny-looking dawg!
...better make myself look big! [raises his arms and snarls]
Put it there, Buddy, put it right there!
[reels from his breath] Argh! What kind of toothpaste does he use?! Rotting meat flavour?
Oh, come on now. I wanna be your buddy! Tell you what - I'm gonna smell your behind, and you can smell mine! Now, is that a deal?
You wanna smell my WHAT!?
Why sure! Don't you wanna smell me?
Man, I could smell you if you was on Mars! When was the last time you took a bath?
Oh please, don't say that word!
What, bath?
You said it again! Now listen up: if y'all gonna say that word in front of me, please spell it.
When was the last time you took a B - A - T - H.
[beat; Dog thinks about it]
What's that?
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Red Dwarf quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Red Dwarf pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.