What has 20 legs, 5 heads and can't reach its own nuts?
Westlife.
Oh, ho-ho-ho. Oh, you're so lucky. You're so lucky, cos I know what the klaxon was.
Ha-ha!
I presume the klaxon: shall I?
Yeah, go on.
One Direction?
Oh!
[Forfeit Klaxon goes off - ONE DIRECTION]
[later on in the conversation]
It sounds like a gypsy band, but it's the squirrel kings. What would squirrel kings be?
The best squirrel?
Well, oddly enough, it's really unfortunate. They squirm around on trees. But sometimes trees exude, a sticky sap. And when the baby squirrels get their tails caught in the sticky sap, their tails get stuck together. And you get this (cuts to image of 5 squirrels stuck together by their tails). Absolutely stuck together.
[Audience goes "aww!"]
Oh, that's fucking hysterical!
[Laughter]
Seriously they're stuck together?!?! [cackles]
You're so bad! You are so bad! The audience goes "aww"!
It's not! It's the funniest thing I've ever heard of! And they're never going to be organised enough to go "Ready, steady" and run off in different directions. They'll never be able to do that!
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