“The Hard Part” quotes from Private Practice

Charlotte

Which one of you has the erection? [all three men raise their hands] Priapism's not a joke fellas, if I don't get that mast down, this boat might never sail again.

Well, you want to walk my plank, captain?

Cooper

Hey!

Charlotte

What's your name.

Dan.

Charlotte

Well, Dan, let me tell you the procedure for reversing priapism. First, I take a long gauge needle and I push it down the head of the penis, then I slowly draw out blood, flush it with saline and repeat. Still the man, Dan? [Dan sits down]

Sheldon

I know this might sound a little forward, but I saw you from over there and I think you are stunning. You have this unstoppable sex appeal, you're like the Niagara Falls of sexy. Wow, that was terrible.

Horrific.

I thought I married the Virgin Mary, turns out I married Mary Magdalene.

Charlotte

I know your heart feels broken clean-through right now, but if you walk you might regret it.

No, not after what she did.

Charlotte

[goes to leave, but stops] I'm not warm and... and feelings are so, um, I'm just going to tell you this thing, because here we do that. We tell you things and sometimes it helps ya. Oh, for the love... Anyway, here's the thing I want to tell ya. I was married, once. I married the first man I truly loved. Thought we had this whole fairy-tale thing going on. It was, he was amazing. We were amazing. And then he did something... something stupid and thoughtless and mean, the kind of something I was not willing to forgive. So, I left him, I left him behind and I went on and I live this whole other life now. And that's good, it's fine. I have a great guy, a doctor, my life is damn near perfect, but every once in a while, I think about that guy. That fairy-tale thing we had. I wonder if we'd still be amazing if we were together now. And I'll never know, because the minute it got hard, the minute it stopped being a fairy-tale, I cut and ran. Real life is hard, real life takes work, real life is thoughtless and mean, but that doesn't cancel out the love. So if you don't love this girl, walk away, but if you look at her and you know she's the one, you owe it to yourself to give her a second chance.