Preacher · Season 1
A woman needs to know how to be strong and stand on her own. Thanks for these, guys. Of course, boy or girl, if you're lucky enough to fall in love, you have to be even stronger. Fight like a lion to keep it alive. So that... So that on the day your love is weak enough or selfish enough or frickin' stupid enough to run away, you have the strength to track him down and eat him alive.
You're funny.
I know. Anyway, this is how you make a bazooka.
(to Chris) So, bring me a beer and maybe I'll do some of those things to your daddy. How hurt you want him? How far do I go? One punch? Two? Problem is, your daddy's a big fella, I imagine a couple of punches just gonna make him mad. He's gonna fight back. Then his buddies are gonna want to help out. I'll need to defend myself. things will escalate. That's what these things do. They escalate. And violence... makes violence. It makes nothing much at all.
Pray for me, preacher.
Anyone were listen', I would. Believe me. I'd pray.
I don't hate you, Tulip. I wouldn't know how.
Don't make me teach you, then.
Jesus, what kind of preacher are you?
The lousy kind.
No, I'm sorry, mate. I've seen the lousy kind. As long as you're not walking around with a little kiddie's arsehole around your finger like a bloody wedding ring, I'd say you were ahead of the game, then.
Drinkin' fightin', swearin'. I can't even afford to fix the damn air-conditionin'.
Sounds like the first verse of the worst country song ever written, man.
Can't do it. I told them. You cannot just expunge a beloved cultural figure like that and not expect it to go over like shit on cold biscuit.
I imagine there's worse things that could happen.
I just read the Japanese let a fellow marry his own pillow, I tend to agree with you. Much worse is on its way.
Pillows. That's a slippery slope.
Promises matter. It's the currency of faith.
You were never really here in the first place, Jesse, so... what difference should your leaving make?
No sermon today. You're welcome for that. I'll try not to punch anyone, either. I do have an announcement. The other night, someone asked me why I'd come back to Annville. I didn't have an answer for her at least, not a convincing one. I've let you down. Week after week, I've been just another man that hurts by not helping. I've not had a single morning where I-I didn't wake up and have to force my feet to the floor to face you. The bottom line is, I've been a bad preacher. And for that, I am sorry. But "I'm sorry" doesn't change anything. My shortcomings, they're not news to anyone. What is news and, uh, what I've decided is... I can't, I can't, I can't quit. I've been quitting on you for too long. I've been quitting on this church. You deserve better. You... You deserve You deserve a good preacher. You deserve a good preacher, and, and that's what you're gonna get. As of today as of right now, I'm going to fight. I'm going to do what all good preachers have done since the Serpent and Man's Fall: pray for the sinner. Offer peace to the restless. Avenge the innocent.
"Silence is as deep as eternity, and speech is shallow as time." But this country, mm. It's more than just trees and rivers. It's a promise. An ancient contract 'neath these new landscapes and particulars, but it's terms are everlasting and made payable to the righteous. What do you say to that, sir? Do you agree? Yes or no? That this is paradise.
It ain't.
Look, I--I understand that Cassidy's sort of--of disgusting, rude, childish thing can be fun. I get--I get it. But, um yesterday, there was a case and half of communion wine in the supply closet, and today...
I'll talk to him.
(seeing Eugene's face) What the bloody hell happened there?
Shotgun. He tried to kill himself.
He's walking the earth with a face like an arsehole. Should've tried harder. Was that an un-Christian thing to say, was it?
Pretty much.
All right. Fair enough.
Do you know what? He has a plan for me, too.
His plan for me is to let you know that his plan for you is the dumbest, most boring plan He's ever come up with.
So selfishness--that's your answer. Just run around, do whatever whenever you want. What kind of a life is that?
An honest one.
What's your story, Cassidy?
No, it's pretty typical, really. I'm a 119-year-old vampire from Dublin City. And I'm currently on the run from a group of vampire-hunting religious vigilantes who keep tracking me down somehow.
What else?
I'm a right-handed Sagittarius. I love Chinese food. I've never seen the Pacific Ocean. And I think that The Big Lebowski's overrated.
Honestly, boys, I don't know how you keep finding me. Truly, I don't. But I do know that you're going to be sorry you did. Ah? And not just the kind of "I took half a sheet of LSD down at the bullfight" kind of sorry, neither. No, no, no, no, no, boys. No, this this kind of sorry is much worse.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Preacher pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
