Cassidy quotes from Preacher

Cassidy

Honestly, boys, I don't know how you keep finding me. Truly, I don't. But I do know that you're going to be sorry you did. Ah? And not just the kind of "I took half a sheet of LSD down at the bullfight" kind of sorry, neither. No, no, no, no, no, boys. No, this this kind of sorry is much worse.

Cassidy

I doubt everything all the time, all right? It's the only way to live.

Cassidy

God may not make mistakes, but people are bloody famous for it!

Cassidy

Leave it up Brokeback Mountain for now.

Cassidy

Alright, so... God's an expert crier and he yells a lot. Well, we kinda knew that already.

Cassidy

Jesus, what kind of preacher are you?

Jesse Custer

The lousy kind.

Cassidy

No, I'm sorry, mate. I've seen the lousy kind. As long as you're not walking around with a little kiddie's arsehole around your finger like a bloody wedding ring, I'd say you were ahead of the game, then.

Jesse Custer

Drinkin' fightin', swearin'. I can't even afford to fix the damn air-conditionin'.

Cassidy

Sounds like the first verse of the worst country song ever written, man.

Cassidy

(seeing Eugene's face) What the bloody hell happened there?

Jesse Custer

Shotgun. He tried to kill himself.

Cassidy

He's walking the earth with a face like an arsehole. Should've tried harder. Was that an un-Christian thing to say, was it?

Jesse Custer

Pretty much.

Cassidy

All right. Fair enough.

Jesse Custer

Do you know what? He has a plan for me, too.

Cassidy

His plan for me is to let you know that his plan for you is the dumbest, most boring plan He's ever come up with.

Jesse Custer

So selfishness--that's your answer. Just run around, do whatever whenever you want. What kind of a life is that?

Cassidy

An honest one.

Jesse Custer

What's your story, Cassidy?

Cassidy

No, it's pretty typical, really. I'm a 119-year-old vampire from Dublin City. And I'm currently on the run from a group of vampire-hunting religious vigilantes who keep tracking me down somehow.

Jesse Custer

What else?

Cassidy

I'm a right-handed Sagittarius. I love Chinese food. I've never seen the Pacific Ocean. And I think that The Big Lebowski's overrated.

Jesse Custer

Look, I'm just sayin', boring's not the worst thing a person can be, Cassidy.

Cassidy

I think you're wrong. I think boring's the worst.

DeBlanc

We just want what's inside the preacher.

Cassidy

Yeah, I'm sure you do. Power like that, who wouldn't want it? The question is, what do you want it for? Military? Economics? Mass-scale psycho-sexual mind control?

Emily Woodrow

D--Delivery dropped that off over an hour ago. You're taking the van and handling this right?

Cassidy

I'm on it.

Emily Woodrow

Don't look very on it.

Cassidy

No? This is my "very on it" outfit.

Cassidy

Just...tell me how it feels.

Jesse Custer

It feels like... there's a big blender in my gut. And inside that blender, there's everything. Love... hate... fire, ice... polonium, ice cream, tarantulas--everything. All of god's creation... inside of me.

Cassidy

But I mean, after that, these two fella come by, right, dressed as cowboy blokes on the outside, but sounded more like two blokes who just stumbled in out of a pub in Clerkenwell, if you know what I'm tryin' to say.

Jesse Custer

I have no idea.

DeBlanc

When will you be back?

Cassidy

Soon.

Fiore

Be specific.

Cassidy

Very soon.