Damon quotes from Poppa's House

Damon

That's healthy.

Poppa

Thank you.

Damon

Dad, come on, man. This is an emergency. I need your help.

Poppa

Can't you see I'm on the floor, folks?

Damon

Oh, my god. Dad. Are you able to owe me some money? I gotta get a replacement for this wedding before Nina kills me. It's the third time I lost it.

Poppa

I have a question for you, son. You ever asked yourself "Hey. Why was Dad on the floor?".

Damon

Did you hurt your back?

Poppa

Yes. My sciatica is acting up.

Damon

Okay. Well, you should go to the doctor, then.

Damon

What's up, Dad?

Poppa

Hey. Just the man I want to see. I have us, two tickets to the Mets game.

Poppa

Why are you hanging out with that dude? I hate him.

Damon

Yeah, you hate everyone. All right? He and I are jabronis with an emphasis on bro. We made a pack that if one of us made it, we bring the other along and he just finished shooting a movie for Paramount.

Damon

So I think we need to get on the same page. And I have exciting news for you, dad. JJ has chosen you to be the spokesperson for this innovative new product.

Poppa

Okay. Before I tell you where you could put that thing. I want to ask you a couple of questions.

Poppa

Yeah, I do. This is special. You should give it to your dad.

Damon

Did you say "give"? I think I heard you say "give".

Poppa

Yoink.

Damon

Sorry, buddy. I'm not giving that to anybody. However, you can buy it from me.

Damon

Watch this. You're gonna say "Phones are a racket!".

Poppa

These phones are a racket! And you know what? I'm taking them away. From now on, at Poppa's House, phones are banned. This is a phone free zone.

Poppa

The first thing you gotta do when you get the Futon family man talk, you gotta take all that whiny stuff out of your voice.

Damon

What high whiny stuff?

Poppa

This generation, we don't roll like that.

Damon

That sended Western Union. Get a high-five, Ivy Reed.