A character in Penn & Teller: Bullshit!
Played by Teller
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! · 101 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Penn & Teller: Bullshit!: in 3 of its 101 quotes
Most scenes with: Penn (3)
[First lines]
[Posing over a fake grave of Harry Houdini] Harry, can you believe it? The same bullshit you so thoroughly debunked almost a century ago is continuing, and even enjoying a resurgence. [To camera] See? Anyone can talk to the dead. Getting an answer, that's the hard part.
Teller[Through the plastic gravestone] Bullshit!
[Opening lines. Penn and Teller are standing in front of a bull - the bull moos.]
You might be wondering what our... friend is doing here. Well, he's one of the many creators of... bullshit! And he has the best of interest in this show because we're taking a look at the animal rights movement in general, and more specifically, a group called PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. These are folks who don't want animals killed, hurt, exploited or... embarrassed. Okay, we're gonna try it their way. We aren't gonna tease or abuse the bull. He doesn't have a cute name like... Elsie or... Moo-Moo or... Heifer Lips. His name is Dave. Nothing funny about that. We wouldn't do anything to this animal that we wouldn't do to each other. Except... call him Dave. Here you go...
[Penn applies a branding iron that says "BULLSHIT!" to Teller's right buttock.].
Teller[off-camera] Mother-FUCKER! Oh...!
Hey cool, Dave! He can talk!
[Opening lines. Teller swings a clock on a string in front of Penn's face.]
Your eyes are so heavy now, so heavy, they burn! Close them! Close them and feel yourself sinking down... down! [Teller puts the clock in his pocket and lays a cinder block on Penn's body] Feel your body tingling, and becoming absolutely rigid, rigid as a heavy wooden beam! [Teller then grabs a sledgehammer] And now, the tingling resumes, and you are feeling no... pain—
[As Teller is about to smash the cinderblock, Penn interrupts.]
Hold the phone! Before we do this, let's make sure hypnotism isn't bullshit.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Penn & Teller: Bullshit! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
