You might be wondering what our... friend is doing here. Well, he's one of the many creators of... bullshit! And he has the best of interest in this show because we're taking a look at the animal rights movement in general, and more specifically, a group called PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. These are folks who don't want animals killed, hurt, exploited or... embarrassed. Okay, we're gonna try it their way. We aren't gonna tease or abuse the bull. He doesn't have a cute name like... Elsie or... Moo-Moo or... Heifer Lips. His name is Dave. Nothing funny about that. We wouldn't do anything to this animal that we wouldn't do to each other. Except... call him Dave. Here you go...
[Penn applies a branding iron that says "BULLSHIT!" to Teller's right buttock.].
Ethical means moral or proper which differs for every person, it's something to discuss! It's not an absolute, it just sounds nice, it's like 'pro-choice' and 'pro-life', I mean, c'mon! Everyone is pro-choice and pro-life! It's for or against abortion that your group is about, and who wouldn't wanna treat animals ethically, anyway? I mean nobody gets off slapping their monkey or choking their chicken or roughing up their clam!
This is a struggle for equality that is no different from all the other civil rights struggles before it.
DPDennis Prager
The foolishness of that statement is so deep, that I can only ascribe it to higher education: you have to have gone to college to have learnt to say something that stupid.
SHOWS LIKE THIS!? What shows like this? Is HBO running a show called “Horse Shit” or “Crock-a-Shit”? What other shit shows are there out there? We rule shit!
In just a month after animals were released, they would be back in animal prison for trespassing, failure to pay their taxes, assaulting people—and each other, and for fucking and shitting all over the shitty, fuckin' place! Life is not Disney bullshit where the lions and pigs and... meerkats get together and sing songs.
PETA euthanized 1,325 dogs and cats that year at its headquarters! Did that register? PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, kills animals themselves. They only took in 2,103, so PETA killed almost two-thirds of the animals they rescued.
The PETA you don't know would outlaw fishing, circuses, dog shows, horseback riding and zoos. They even oppose using service animals like eye-dogs for the blind. Fucking blind bastards torturing those dogs! In PETA, there's no room for Kentucky Fried Chicken, or the Kentucky Derby. See you, Shamu! And forget about smearing honey all over your fuck buddy, because even bees are persecuted by the man. And pets are forbidden in PETA's world too. That's right! No pets. Hey all you pet lovers who donate to PETA, feel like a sucker yet?
[On PETA's usage of Holocaust footage for its campaigns].
DPDennis Prager
We have a generation here in America, of young people, who don't know what evil is [cf. generations past]. They've never suffered. They don't know Nazism. They don't know Communism. They don't know torture. They don't know concentration camps. And so, they're so naive, that they think the worst evil is done to animals and the environment.
No animals were harmed in the making of this episode of Bullshit. Well, except the fucking chickens. Oh, and the- and the ribs, that's a cow. And our sexy leather boy outfits and the furcoats and oh, y'know a lot of the food is catered and they served some meats, there's probably a couple of diabetics on the crew that need insulin, almost forgot Teller's ass, and I guess the building we tape in has some animal products 'cause they're commonly used in brick, plaster, cement and insulation. Some of the furniture was probably made using animal-based glue, and there's a lot of animal stuff used in musical instruments, so maybe the theme song injured some animals. Oh and the videotape contains Mylar, and that's made from animal by-products, but other than that, though!
