Priest, Mark and others in “Unfinished Business”

...but first I'm required to ask anyone present who knows the reason why these persons may not lawfully marry to declare it now.

Mark

(Oh please, someone save me! Jeremy? Spacemen?!)

The vows you are about to take are to be made in the name of God, who is Judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts...

Mark

(He's ladelling it on now. Is that in the proper thing or has he just added that to needle me?)

Mark

(Oh great, now she's crying. I probably look like a wife beater. It's not fair! I'm unhappy too!)

Will you take Sophie Hortensia Chapman...

Mark

("Hortensia"? Oh, this is a fucking disaster. Look at me! I'm one of those men women read about in their magazines!)

...and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?

Mark

I will. (That's it. I've ruined it! I've ruined my life! You only get one life, and I've ruined mine.)

[to Sophie] ...as long as you both shall live?

Mark

(Please don't say "I will".)

Sophie

[sobbing] I will.

Mark

(Uggh!)

Then I now pronounce you man and wife. (both Mark and Sophie weep) You may kiss the bride.

Mark

(Tears of joy. They're tears of joy. That's the line we both stick to, now and for the rest of our miserable lives!)