I just gotta know, Julia. What are you waiting for, Julia? My funeral?
I mean, I can't get Claudia to shut up about it, and you, I don't hear a word from! Nothing! You don't even stop by! It's like I'm going through all this, and you couldn't care less!
You think that? You think I don't care?
What am I supposed to think? What's take, Julia? How much effort is required to pick up a freakin' phone?
Maybe it takes, I don't know, some sign, something that I'm a part of your life! I mean, you want me to care, Charlie, but you didn't want me to know!
But you do know! Now you know!
But you didn't tell me! Claudia did.
Look, I don't have time to play games with you, Julia.
Games? You are the one playing games, Charlie. You let me go on and on about my stupid money problems. You don't interrupt. You don't say a word about your health, like your cancer isn't important enough to mention! Like how could Julia possibly care about anything but herself? God, what am I supposed to do Charlie, except take my cue from you? If you have wanted anything from me, if you had expected anything from me, you would have treated me like I was capable of coming through for you. But obviously, you don't. So congratulations, Charlie. I guess you have me pegged.
What is this? What is your...God, I'm sick! I'm sick, and you've got a problem with, with my process? Get over yourself, Julia! Man, I thought Owen was the baby of the family!
Huh? Oh, yeah. What a coincidence. I always hated you, too.
I mean, let's be honest. You got this whole "bad boy" thing going on "this is me, and I don't give a damn" thing that women always go for Makes me wanna puke.
Well, what about you, huh? You with your "smartest and thinks he's smartest" routine. Major pain in the butt, Mr. Harvard freakin' law.
It's Yale! All right? And I'm an English major.
Ooh, yeah, Mr. Yale freakin' English.
You know what really baffles my ass? I'm the one who's killing myself. And you, you already got everything you want. You got your stupid little motorcycle shop, you're married to this perfect woman, and it's just Man, go figure.
Yeah, well, it's not all it's cracked up to be, all right? I've got overhead, I've got long hours, and I'm living in a shed. You know, Harvard's a piece of cake compared to the real world, pal.
Yale schmale, man! Don't come crying on my shoulder. You're the one that's got it easy.
Oh, oh, you think you got it rough? Whoo-hoo. I was valedictorian at Grant. You know that? And then I go to Yale and, hello! All of a sudden I'm failing English lit. English lit! It's like all of a sudden I'm stupid or something. Oh, and the people there. Oh, my God. My roommate He's this Thurston Howell turd wannabe. First day he starts off by unpacking his collection of Brandy snifters. And he's telling me all about his Polo scores, and I'm like, "whatever!" It sucks. Ok? It blows! Ok? Ok?!
Uh, ok, yeah. No, man, whatever. You yeah, you win.
Is there any more of this stuff?
Oh, yeah. Hey, the next one's on me, bro.
What about Owen? Should I call a doctor or something?
Which color food is it now?
What? He's done this before?
Yeah, when Bailey went to college last year he wouldn't eat anything that wasn't green. It means he's a little freaked by what's going on.
Yeah, well this year it's white.
Well, then my advice is cook white food.
