Okay you need to be strong, powerful, decisive. This is not a meeting, it's a battle. Normal meeting rules do not apply. I'll be my mom and I'm gonna be very harsh with you and it's only because I like you a lot.
Okay.
Go!
Hello-
Wrong.
What?
No preambles. No introductions. Just walk in and start talking.
...Id like to discuss the school bus-
I'd like to discuss your rhyming, Dr. Seuss. And you should be sitting by now.
What?
Just walk in and take a seat.
Um...
"Um" is the sound in "dumb." That's what she says to people. And now you've crossed your legs like a woman.
God! Okay should we just start over?
No, we need to put a pin in this. Here is a list of my mother's top 10 conversation topics starting with Persian rugs, ending with Daniel Craig. You have 10 minutes to memorize it.
"Deliverance," the movie?
Mmmhmmm.
Oh God.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Parks and Recreation quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Parks and Recreation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.