TV show quotes
We have a child to worry about now.
That God will protect. Just like he did in St. Louis.
Mason...
That bullet was three-tenths of an inch from rupturing my aorta. But it went clean through. That is not a coincidence.
God wasn't protecting you. The kid had shitty aim.
[Buddy Holly is singing on the car radio]
Here we go. Buddy Holly's a perfect example. Buddy Holly, the day he died, uh...
Yeah, I know, he won a coin flip, or he wouldn't have been on the plane.
No, it was actually Valens that won the coin toss. It was Buddy Holly that chartered the plane. Do you wanna know why?
'Cuz he was tired of riding in shitty buses?
No, he was tired of shitty underwear. So he decided that he wanted to get to wherever he was going as quickly as possible, so he could do laundry.
[Wendy Byrde chuckles]
It's true.
So you're saying "The Day the Music Died" was because of soiled briefs?
Another good example is D-Day. The Nazis knew that we were coming, so they wanted to line the beach with tanks so they could literally blow us out of the water. But Hitler decided that it was a good day for sedatives. So they couldn't wake him up to get the final sign-off for the tanks, and the rest is history.
What the hell are you talking about?
I'm talking about decisions.
What, I'm Hitler in this analogy?
No.
I would hope not.
[chuckles] Uh, I'm just saying that any decision made, big or small, has an impact around the world. It's difficult.
Marty, I just don't need a theoretical analysis right now.
I know. I'm just saying this is tough.
I know... Marty, watch out!
[truck hits them]
Marty, you can't blame yourself for what happened.
I know.
Do you?
Yeah.
I'm serious; there's nothing you could do about it. Like my dad always said, "Everything happens for a reason."
Your dad sounds like he was full of shit. With all due respect.
Yeah, well, perhaps.
You really believe that? You really think that there's some preordained chart, floating around up in the ether, with our fate all figured out?
I don't know about a preordained chart...
That's a bunch of crap. Things happen because human beings make decisions, they commit acts, and that makes things happen. And it creates a snowball effect with the, you know, their world around them, causes other people to make decisions. Cycle continues, snowball keeps rolling. And even when that's not the case, when life's events are not connected to other people's decisions and actions, it's not some bullshit fucking test sent down from the universe to check your resolve, you know.
Okay.
I mean, what would the reason be for some healthy five-year-old to get a brain tumor? Or why would a tsunami wipe out a village? You tell those families everything happens for a reason. No, sometimes people make decisions, shit happens, and we gotta act accordingly. Or you can... crawl in a hole and die, you know?
Well, it was a shitty thing for me to say and I'm sorry, bud.
Grab what you can while you can.
I, just, uh, you know...
What? The risks?
Yes.
Well, I understand, but you only really have to worry about the risks if you are careless or dumb. And you're neither.
[to his bookeeper] You see, the feds were snooping around, which caused you to make some piss-poor attempt to cover your tracks. Which allowed a shrewd person like Marty Byrde to identify your shoddy work and thieving ways. Which then inspires me to pursue Mr. Byrde, and this allows me to dispense with you. Isn't that something, huh? The wonderful convergence between cause and effect, and a bit of good luck. Bad luck in your case, Louis. The universe is a funny, funny place with all of its chaos.
[having just witnessed a murder and mutilation] Jesus Christ!
[holding up eyeballs] What d'you want me to do with 'em?
Save them for a rainy day. [to Marty] You don't know how wonderful it is to have someone on board that I can trust.
What, Buddy?
Oh, nothing. I was just thinking, if my ex-wife and I had had it out like that, we might still be together. Anyway the two of you are up to your ballsacks in drama, tell you that.
How'd that Sam thing go?
We own a funeral home now.
Of course we do.
[about their latest cash influx] Skip wrapping it. Just get it out of sight.
No, I can't just stack bills in a wall and call it a day. There's rot, and there's termites, there's rats. First year I did this, Bruce lost 300K in two days to squirrels.
I passed Martin Byrde on the road coming in. So, what sort of business you have with him?
He owes us a debt.
How big?
Bigger than yours.
You know, by shooting him, you basically signed my death warrant.
Well, remind me, next time, I'll let him kill your family.
Are you drunk?
Nope. I'm enlightened.
Del Rio's got a clean sheet. That that's why they use him to travel back and forth. We can't touch him.
Jesus, what fucking box factory are you working in?
The same one that'll take away your badge if you try to make a bust without cause.
You need to stop worrying about the law.
That's a joke, right?
Right now, the only things that matter are leverage and perception.
Legend goes that when they flooded my people out to make way for this lake, they swallowed a church up whole. You can still hear the bell from under the water. Certain people believe it's a sign. A call to worship. Others think it's a sign that someone's gonna die. Today, it was both. Next time, it's up to you.
Look, I know you're just trying to take us somewhere safe, but that place doesn't exist. I mean, we should at least stay together.
[dancing and scheming] So where do we live?
Look who's getting ahead of himself.
How about Luxembourg?
That's the best you've got? Luxembourg?
How about Santorini?
No.
No? Some white sand beaches?
Mnh-mnh. Tourists. Steep inclines. Donkeys.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ozark pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
