[Del, Rodney, and Cassandra have arrived in Spain.]
Hang on a minute, just before you go and check in - this prize ain't quite as straightforward as it seems.
Well he did win, didn't he?
[Rodney is staring, distracted, at all the other winners]
Oh yes, yes, he won and all that, and it's all pukka and above board, and we're here...
So what's the problem?
That's strange, you know.
What?
Well, I noticed it on the plane, but it didn't sort of register. They're all mums and dads - they've all got their kids with them.
What's strange about that?
Well, except for me, right, all the winners are parents.
No, it's not the parents that are the winners, Rodney... It's the kids.
What do you mean?
Well Rodney's painting won first prize... in an under 15 year old category.
(stunned) Say again?
So they think Rodney's 15?!
Is that right?
No. They think you're 14.
14? (to Cassandra) They think I'm 14!!!
[Cassandra dissolves into giggles.]
Why didn't you tell me this back in England?
Well I thought it might cast a little cloud over the holiday. Look, Rodney, I sent your painting off in good faith. I didn't know there were lots of categories, but you're the one who wrote on it, "Rodney Trotter, aged 14 1/2", so the organisers must have put you in the kids category. So it's your fault, that you wrote on it.
But how was I to know that in 12 years' time, you were going to enter it into a cornflake competition?
Well how was I supposed to know that you'd win? Come on Rodney, it doesn't matter, you're going to waltz through it!
Waltz through it?! How the hell am I gonna pass for 14?!
[Cassandra is beside herself with laughter.]
(icily) Will you stop doing that, Cassandra?
(calming down) Sorry.
Act your age.
[This sets Cassandra off into an even bigger fit of laughter.]
(to Del) This is your fault. I am going to break your bloody neck!
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