Nathan
Letting go is never easy. As athletes, we have an expiration date,and even if our professional careers are substantial, that expiration date comes pretty early. Sometimes our ...our hearts are willing, but our bodies say no. And that happens to be the case with me. Because of this, I'll be leaving the game of basketball.
Obviously, there are things I regret......Things I would like to take back......Things I would change if I could. But we all have to live with the residue of our choices...And the consequence of our actions.
Nathan
I know that some of you may be concerned for me, concerned that I might struggle with the fact that my career has been cut short. As Lou Gehrig said,"today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." Finally, I won't be taking any questions tonight. Instead, there's a long interview conducted by Mouth McFadden at his website, mcfaddensports.com.
I won't be taking any questions tonight. But I just want to ensure the investors of my company, now my former company, that you will all be paid back in full 100%. Our mistakes shouldn't cost you a penny, and they won't. People say, "it's just business. Don't take it personally." Well, I think business is as personal as it gets. Just because the system allows it, it doesn't make it right.
Nathan
Some people never get to touch their dreams...Never get to know what that feels like.....never find that thing they love or get to do it for a living. So, is it a tragedy to have that taken away from you? No. The tragedy would be to lie awake at night, wondering, "what if?"
For those of you who believed in me once,I hope you can believe in me again...
BNBrooke & Nathan
For now, I say goodbye to this chapter of my life..... And I look forward to what comes next
Listen to me. About school...You have more determination than anyone know. And I really, really believe in you, Nathan.
Nathan
Well, that means everything.
You want to know what I wished for?
Nathan
Yeah.
I wished that you would believe in yourself as much as I believe in you
Nathan
You okay?
I'm sorry I've been so moody all the time.What?What am I saying?I'm not sorry. I'm pregnant. I am pregnant, Nathan.
Nathan
Okay.
I found some things in the pantry.
Nathan
You went snooping.
I...yes, I went snooping, and unless Jamie is buying diamond necklaces for Madison...
Nathan
You opened it?
Well, that's not the point.
Nathan
I think it is.
Where is it, Nathan? Where's the diamond necklace or the earrings or the flowers?
Nathan
You weren't supposed to see those things.
Nathan! I can't believe you...Do you think I'm blind? You're gone all day. You came home, you shower, and then you (he opens the bedroom door and the bedroom is beautifully put together with roses and ho ho’s and a little box) You love me.
Nathan
Of course I do,you dork. With all my heart,I do.
Nathan
Oh, here we go.Come on.
You got me ho hos.I really wanted these.
Nathan
And the necklace was for Quinn.I was hiding it for Clay.
Nathan
I can try to steal it back if you want.
No, it's fine.This is perfect.It's all perfect.
Nathan
We're perfect.
Nathan
I love you, too, baby...You really want those ho hos,don't you?
Nathan
Okay.
Nathan
Ooh, what was that for?
That was because Jamie said he had a great day, and his dad was a big part of that.
Nathan
Well, how was his mom's day?
It was good. It was great, actually. Um, and I think Lydia really enjoyed it, too.
Nathan
Lydia.
Yeah. I didn't want to get my hopes up until I talked to Quinn, but what do you think?
Nathan
Nathan, Haley, Jamie, and Lydia. It's perfect.
I’m a little panicked, can you tell me a story?
Nathan
Uh, story. Got it. What kind of story?
Nathan
Alright. Um. Uh, I got nothing.
In the history of the world, any story that’s ever been told.
Nathan
Okay, I’m sorry. All I can think of is the Three Little Pigs… I don’t know why the Three Little Pigs, I have no idea.
Nathan
Okay, how about this, did I ever tell you the story about the high school clown-
Nathan
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Jerk. The high school jerk who fell for the beautiful, sarcastic girl who hated clowns. (flashback)...And they fell in love. And they have a son. And soon…
Nathan
And they all live happily ever after. I promise.
AKAugust Kellerman
Whatever you think you know,you've made a mistake.
Nathan
I saw the car in your garage.
AKAugust Kellerman
First of all,my home and my vehicle are my own business. Beyond that, I had an accident.So what?
Nathan
So what? So you nearly killed my son and a good friend.
AKAugust Kellerman
You're wrong. I swerved to miss some deer, and I hit a light pole.
Nathan
You hit a car, Kellerman, on the Gabel Bridge, and then you drove away and left two people drowning in the river when the levee broke.
AKAugust Kellerman
I didn't...
Nathan
You didn't what? You didn't do it, or you don't remember doing it, considering the empty bottle of bourbon I found underneath your front seat?
AKAugust Kellerman
You're making a mistake.
Nathan
Okay.So, you had an accident the night of the big storm, you smashed the front of your late-model maroon Grand Wagoneer, and then you drove away without anybody seeing. Meanwhile, a different late-model maroon Grand Wagoneer crashed into my son's car on the same night at around the same time, and then also drove away. And the eyewitness is mistaken.
AKAugust Kellerman
I have nothing else to say to you.
Nathan
Well, I have something to say to you. My son was trapped inside that car. He was scared, and he was alone, and you left him there. His godmother nearly died that night in front of his eyes. And you could have helped them, but instead, you slipped into the shadows like a coward. Well, I'm about to shine a light into those shadows because I know what you did, and you know what you did. And this is going to be made right by you or by me. You think about that.
Nathan
So, Kellerman came to see me yesterday. He admitted that it was him. He resigned his teaching position, and he offered to pay any costs associated with the accident, and he apologized.
Nathan
I'm not defending him, Julian. I just wanted you to know what happened. He said that he was hoping we wouldn't go to the cops, but if we did, he would accept whatever happens.
You see, this is what I'm talking about, Nate...so now it's on us? So I got to feel guilty if we turn in Kellerman for getting drunk and driving like an idiot? Great! That's on me now.
Nathan
And me.What do you think?
I don't know. What do you think?
Nathan
I think Kellerman's life was academia, and he just lost that. But if you want to turn him in, I'm completely fine with that, too.This has nothing to do with Ian or Fortitude.
I know that, but I want to talk to him.
Nathan
Ian?
August Kellerman. I want to look him in the eye and hear his side of things.
Nathan
I think that's fair
It's nice of you,to do this...spend a weekend trying to help Jamie. I'm sure he appreciates it.
Nathan
Yeah. You know, sometimes I think about when we were kids and the memories I have of my parents and their friends. And then I think, "this is what they'll remember when they look back." You know, these are the days that they'll stories about. That's when I feel like I can do better, that I have the responsibility to try. You know, Jamie's gonna miss you when you leave to New York. He'll miss you and Brooke. We all will.
Uh...We're not leaving. Brooke passed on the job.
Nathan
How come?
Nathan
But I-I thought...
That she couldn't get pregnant? So did we. But she is. We just found out. I'm not supposed to tell anybody yet, so...
Nathan
You fertile bastard.Wow.
I hope it's a girl and that she's just like her mom and that someday, she'll be best friends with Lydia Scott.
Nathan
I'll drink to that.
I sleep better knowing that your side of the bed is closer to the door, because if somebody breaks in then, they are probably going to break in and get you first and I can run, OK?
Nathan
You say the sweetest things to me Haley James.
I just miss you, I want you to come home. I feel spoiled when you are here.
Nathan
Well, prepare to be spoiled because I'm going to be home tomorrow night or the next day depending on these flights.
Really? That just made my heart race.
Nathan
Mine too. Now you take that feeling and you go back to bed OK? I'll be home before you know it.
OK, I can't wait. I love you Nathan.
Nathan
I love you too, sweet dreams.
Nathan
Dad, why does this have to be so difficult? You're my father so I should love you but I spent so much of my life hating you.
I was a terrible father. I know that.
Nathan
You know, I can justify a lot of the screwed up things you've done. You bullied me because you wanted to make me tough. You tried to ruin my marriage because you wanted me to have a career. You even burned down your diner because you wanted to see me again. But I can't understand how you can murder your own brother. And I'm worried, when you're gone that's all I'll remember, and still hate you for it.
You should hate me for it.
Nathan
So why did you do it?
I was always jealous of Keith. Even when we were kids. I was athletic, popular, all the things that he wasn't, but still, I was jealous of him. And people were drawn to Keith, and I hated him for it.
Nathan
So you shot him because people liked him more?
The day I shot Keith I was in a dark place. I was convinced that he tried to kill me, I had lost you, divorced your mom, my life was spiraling downwards and meanwhile Keith was building a new life with my high school sweat-heart and the child I'd abandoned. Every time I looked at him I felt I like I was punched in the gut.
Nathan
So what happened in that hallway?
Keith wanted to go into the school to save that kid, so I let him go, hoping he'd get shot. Let him be the hero, as long as he was a dead hero. And then I thought, why should he be the hero, when it could be me? So I followed him in. Jimmy was crying and Keith was telling him, it gets better, that pain in your heart, that voice in your head that tells ya there's no way out, it's wrong. It gets better. And I felt like he was talking to me. And in that moment, maybe the most heroic, kindest moment of my big brothers life, I hated him. I hated him more than anyone, or anything. Because nothing had gotten better. That pain was still in my heart. That voice in my head saying there's no way out was right! And he was standing there, lying to me! And after Jimmy died, I picked up the gun and aimed it at Keith, and he looked at me, and all I could think of was how everything that had gone wrong in my life was his fault. And it wasn't going to get better until he was gone. Just pull the trigger and it all ends. So I pulled that trigger. And It didn't end! It got worse. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
[Dan breaks down crying]
Nathan
There are a lot of people you need to say I'm sorry to, but I'm not one of them. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for you. My career, my family, my life. No matter what you've done, you're still my father. My father, and I love you.
Oh Nathan, I love you too.