It was Bovril flavour today.
What?
The empty crisp packet on the front lawn.
I'm thinking of compiling a special reference guide: The Observer's Book Of Crap On Your Front Lawn. Give me something to do in the years ahead.
[On Victor being made redundant] What did they say?
"Bugger off", I think was the general gist of it.
GMGarage Manager
Good afternoon. You're...
Victor Meldrew the Crimson Avenger!
GMGarage Manager
Could you tell me what exactly was the problem with the car?
What? You mean you don't know what's wrong with it yet?
GMGarage Manager
Well, we know what's wrong with it now.
You've got a whole new life ahead of you Victor. I mean, you've hardly started. Got it all still to come.
I know. That's what scares me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's One Foot In The Grave pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.