I'm gonna bleed Marino till he gives up Giardella.
FFancy
And what if he gives him up dead?
That's okay, too.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I'd say res ipsa loquitur if I thought you knew what it meant.
[grabbing his crotch] Hey, ipsa this you pissy little bitch!
You think I could come upstairs?
What for?
Well, uh, if I don't, I'm gonna lay down right here and you're gonna have to put traffic cones around me.
Where's your friend from the other night?
Uh, that, uh, that's not gonna work out. I'll sleep on the couch. I don't wanna be alone tonight.
Come up. We'll negotiate where you sleep.
Andy. Stay cool, all right? Fancy wants to make sure you got your feet under you. That's all.
Oh, you think so, huh? I figure he's seeing if I can set a world's record for twiddlin' my thumbs.
[Laura is taking a shower and Kelly is standing outside the bathroom.]
Can I get you a towel?
I can get one. Thanks.
Well, I just ran out of excuses for comin' in there.
Since when did you ever need an excuse?
What ho.
What ho.
What's going on in there?
Ah, Walker just caught a case. Now he's voicing some reservations to the lieutenant about me workin' backup.
This is gonna take some time, Andy.
Come on, John. Please, I understand my situation. I spent a long period of time being sauced. I need to win back my colleagues' trust. I've got to exhibit a continuous positive approach. Even with this dim bulb here.
I was on my way to work. I wanted to thank you for the flowers.
Well, they had a special. The "John Kelly Gets Used to His Ex-wife Being a Prosecutor" special.
It's important to me to still have you for a friend.
You got that.
I want to be able to tell you what's going on in my life.
You got that, too.
There's no rules in being a father.
[to Sipowicz] His two favorite words about you are asshole and entrapment.
MMedavoy
[to Sipowicz as they are arresting strippers] Solicitation and double charging me for my cherry soda.
LLastarza
You're implying you had communications with Angelo Marino prior to his death?
Uh... prior to his death, yeah. But nothing since.
AAbandando
Yes, I got it all. An evil energy threatening the galaxy. Right. Also threatening you personally with a laser death squad. I got it. Nevermi... I'm not impatient. It's just, we're really busy here with crimes on planet Earth. Okay. Thanks for your phone call. [to Andy]
AAbandando
A nut case.
Yeah, I gathered.
AAbandando
All part of my job.
AAbandando
Yes, I remember you. I'm glad you called back. My superiors authorized me to release some classified information to you. This is on a top-secret basis. They want me to let you know the gravity shelf is in remission. The laser death team got recalled. Well, if the death team disobeys orders from shelf headquarters...
[whispering] Aluminum foil.
AAbandando
In the small event that occurs, just crumple two pieces of aluminum foil and stuff them in your undershorts. It defeats their sensor rays. Definitely. This could collapse the empire of the gravity shelf. Yes, these are great days. Okay. Goodbye.
[applauding] You saved the galaxy.
RRoberts
How did you handle the big four-oh, Andy?
Well, as far as I can remember, I dedicated that year to Seagram's 7.
Hey, did you know that New York City tap water tastes better than bottled water? That's not me saying that. That's independent testing.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NYPD Blue pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.