TV show quotes
The man who robbed me was just under six feet tall, 160 pounds, peaches and cream complexion and tousled, strawberry-blonde hair. No scars or distinguishing marks on his face or arms, but he does have a pierced scrotum. He, uh, wears a little gold ball there.
You got a good look?
Oh, yes. From all angles.
[on the value of a stolen Oscar]
I've heard rumblings. Very preliminary. A colleague didn't have the item yet, but he'd been approached. He wanted to know a ballpark worth.
Yeah, what would that be?
Twenty-five.
Thousand?
You think that's inflated? When a matchbook John Lennon wrote "screw you" on brings in fifteen?
Take care. I'll be in touch soon.
[In an undertone] Don't get cancer, Richie.
Well, I get my oscar back and lecture on free will
That's why this is a great police department.
You will be constitutionally protected from something that can save you 50 years in the joint.
Hey, I'm askin' for a lawyer now.
You want me to go out on the street and hail one down for you?
[Officer Roy Larson emerges from the locker room wearing nothing but a towel] Off.
Hey, Kelly! You wanna sit on a butt like cottage cheese, be my guest. Meanwhile, I'll be sittin' on this. [Larson smacks his rear and walks off toward the locker room, while a surprised Lt. Fancy walks in]
You gotta admit, Lieutentant... the guy's got a hell of a muscular ass.
[referring to Off. Roy Larson back in the locker room] What'll it take before somebody drops a gorilla net over this guy?
So let's not snag our pants on your sharp ethics, here, all right?
Uh, I am having it analyzed in a laboratory. Once I've ascertained its legitimacy, I will involve the proper authorities.
Yeah, well while you're ascertaining on that, why don't you tell me where I can find this psychic woman so I can ascertain on her.
I am gonna put a 10-ton weight on that worthless bag o'gumbo if I ever find her.
Charlie, you're talking like an asshole.
Listen to me, John. If I wasn't really rich, I'd be an asshole!
Is there any special reason for you to be in jail right now?
It's where I'm endin' up, I thought I might as well get used to it.
We're all gonna die. It doesn't mean you have to camp out in graveyards.
Remember: G.R.I.P. Growth. Resolution. Intention. Purpose.
[mutters] Yeah. Grip this.
You girls know the rules: your homework is late, I have to spank you.
We know.
Well, get in the position.
[spanked] Ouch.
[spanked] Ouch!
If I got dick-fist, Brigham, my fist looks like your face.
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