No Ordinary Family Season 1 quotes

Daphne Powell

Oh, J.J., how could a super-genius be so epically stupid?

Stephanie Powell

Boundaries, Jim. Ignore the Bat-phone. Tonight's for us

George St. Cloud

[Jim wants to do a fist bump] Whoa. You keep that sledgehammer away from me, man. You ain't gonna crush these delicate hands

Stephanie

No, don't worry. Once I identify his vulnerable DNA strand, I will isolate a molecular pathogen that will trigger Patton's cellular senescence, rendering his powers inert forever.

Jim

Duh.

George

Damn. Eighteen years well spent.

George St. Cloud

[to Jim] Would you take it easy? You might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says "Me and my family went to South America and all we got were these lousy superpowers."

Stephanie Powell

I thought we were a team.

Katie Andrews

Of course you do - team Stephanie! But even though there's no "I" in team, there's a big "I" in Stephanie. And there's a "PH," which we both know in chemistry, is a measure of acidity.

Jim Powell

Aren't you supposed to be getting some sort of award or something?

George St. Cloud

What, the key to the city? Now what would I do with some key that don't open nothing?

Jim

...and now it's cost me a friend and I don't have many of those either.

George

Well, get used to it. You don't see Batman cultivating a wide circle of friends, and Peter Parker's always pissing off one of his buddies.

Jim

So with great power comes great loneliness?

Katie

Okay, so have you ever had somebody look at you, and it's like they are looking directly into your pre-frontal cortex?

Katie

That's a valid diagnosis. I do have all the classic symptoms--anxiety, uneasiness, dread.

Stephanie

Well, that's not how you're supposed to feel when you're in love.

Katie

Well in my case, it is. Because love leads to commitment. And commitment leads to intimacy. And intimacy... has.. proven to be somewhat uncharted territory.

Stephanie

Katie, are you saying that you're still a...?

Katie

Yes. Okay, so back in high school, I decided that I was gonna wait for "The One," like Morpheus for Neo in The Matrix, but with sexual relations.

Jim Powell

Wait a second. Did you ever see "Die Hard"?

George St. Cloud

Did you just ask... I am insulted that you asked me that.

Jim Powell

Air vents. I'll bet these go anywhere in the building.

George St. Cloud

So? Like you said, Jacobs will get a little suspicious if you jumped down in the middle of the squad room and took out four armed felons.

Jim Powell

That's why John McClane didn't take on all the terrorists at the same time. He picked 'em off one by one.

George St. Cloud

Oh, I get it. But in order to get them alone, you need a man on the inside.

Jim Powell

Oh, no, it's too dangerous.

George St. Cloud

Hey, Bruce Willis would've never had gotten out of there alive if he didn't have that black dude helping him. Jim, let me be your black dude.

J.J. Powell

[after Daphne read his mind] And do you remember I had that sign on my door that says "no trespassing"? Imagine that on my forehead. Keep out!

Katie

Okay, so I always had a crush on Wolverine, but I never thought about what would happen if I actually married Wolverine and if we had little wolvie babies. I mean, if we had kids, do you think they would have superpowers? Because the terrible twos would be much terribler with telekinesis.

You're quite intuitive, Mr. Powell, and it's because of this intuitive genius that I am inviting you to join :the academic decathlon team. As you may know, I am the team's adviser, and I believe it would be a great challenge for you.

JJ

I seriously doubt that.

So... you're not interested?

JJ

You're quite intuitive yourself, Mr. Litchfield.

Stephanie

Don't do this. Whatever you feel for Sophie, it's not real. You and me-we're real. Eighteen years of candlelit dinners... backyard football games, a-arguing over shelving units... seeing your daughter born... and JJ's first stitches... remember? I was so scared and you held my hand and you said everything was going to be okay, and I believed you. It's-it's like you said. We fit. This is real.

JJ

Mr. Litchfield, I couldn't help but notice that my packet has different practice problems than the rest of the team.

Giving you the same work as them would be like asking Stephen Hawking to play Chutes & Ladders.