Oh, by the way, I'm Abby.
GGabby
I'm Gabby.
Abby and Gabby: It's so nice to meet you!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
A judgeship. It's an incredible opportunity.
Yeah, being a judge is kind of a dream I had given up on. Think about it. I've been judging people my entire life for free. Now I'm gonna get a paycheck for it.
I can't blame you for following your dream. It would inspire me to follow my dream, but my dream's impossible. I want to be a twin.
Truth is, I was a bit adrift before you came and dragged me out of retirement, forced me to take this job. So, thank you.
Okay, uh, you will not agree with everything I am going to say up there, but just know that I'm doing what is best for my client.
I trust you. It's why I brought you back here. You're the best lawyer I know, the best lawyer my dad knew.
Tonight, a lot of people's Christmases are gonna be ruined because of you (Abby). And I think that's fun. But to put it in more festive terms, 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the court, there were sex workers and muggers, of every odd sort. There were pub-crawling Santas and pickpockets and drifters, and a pretty tough Knife-fight between two angry re-gifters. The festive old Judge, who just loved the season, was crushed all night long by hard facts and cold reason. She wanted to be Rudolph, or maybe a cartoon St. Bernard, but because it's her job, she had to Grinch it real hard. Despite a perfect defense, off to prison they'll head. Merry Chris-wanker-whatever and all that sugary crap, she said.
Oh, you think Santa and the elves are friends?
Santa, we have a special guest. We wouldn't want to spoil anything for her on the most magical night of the year.
Well, it's gonna sound a lot like the song "Tequila" by The Champs.
Hello, Roz.
RRoz
I worked in the court long enough to know. It's illegal to destroy evidence.
It's good to see you, Roz.
RRoz
You too, Fielding.
Where is my gavel?
It's not so bad. We're making it work.
I'm not gonna fight.
You don't get to say what's cool.
Don't listen to him. You're gonna love it here.
[Gurgs unleashes a swarm of bees into the courtroom to cause a delay]
BFBeats-Fresh
Yo! Where did that box of bees come from?!
KEKyle Eh
I counted 10, 20, 25, 30! Do I hear 40? 40 bees!
I should’ve asked more questions about the box!
Oh Gurgs, glad you’re here. Had a thought. Next time you call it “the box”, maybe add “of bees”, because some of us are pretty allergic.
GGurgs
Those were circus bees who gave up their stingers for a life in the theater. What kind of courthouse do you think I run?
Well that explains why they were making fun shapes, but that’s all it explains.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Night Court (2023) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.