Abby Stone quotes from Night Court (2023)

Abby

I mean, it's insane. He just lights up when you're around.

Hey, I'm really sorry I made you do beast mode. I just should've stayed out of it.

Abby

You were just trying to help. If Olivia doesn't want to be friends with me that does belly balloons, then I can live with that. Looks like I'm gonna be handing out water with you at the marathon.

Hey, Neil signed up, too. He's doing it to impress some girl he has a crush on. She has a boyfriend, but apparently he's, like, super tall and really annoying. But, uh, you know, Olivia will be happy to see us.

Abby

Wait. She told you she's still running?

Oh, whoa, whoa.

Abby

Then I'm running too.

You're in a lot of pain right now, aren't you?

Abby

Tremendous amount.

Dan Fielding

In case you were worried, the Finkboners were married by a stripper/priest. It was beautiful.

Abby

I can't get everything I want.

Dan Fielding

Because your father isn't here.

Abby

I think that the real reason I haven't wanted to jump back into wedding planning. He was just so involved in all of it. He was gonna do magic. This thing where my finger would keep falling off right before Rand put a ring on it. It was gonna be epic.

Dan Fielding

Well, you know, big moments make us really miss those who are gone. It's inevitable. But you have to live your life. And it's time you start a life with "Again, Rand? Rand!". I mean, it's almost like a name, but not quite.

Abby

Isn't your real name Reinhold?

Dan Fielding

Uh-huh. Okay. So you know stuff.

Abby

What is this?

Dan Fielding

Well, Harry and I, all of us, really, we spent so much time downstairs in that courthouse that we would come up here for breaks, fresh air, and talk down the occasional jumper. I thought it might be a-a way to make you feel like your father was part of your wedding. I mean, plus, you can't beat the beautiful view that way. Don't look that way. Those people need to invest in some curtains.

Abby

It's perfect. Rand is gonna love it. I mean, he is terrified of heights, but it's time we work on that anyway. I'm not giving up roller coasters for anyone.

Abby

Dan, what are you doing? I told you I got this.

Dan Fielding

Yes, I know. No, I'm just helping. Look, these guys are trickier than the cow tippers and Jet-Ski hooligans you dealt with upstate.

Abby

We have some tough customers back home. Biff Cratchit, Wink Honeycrisp, Colonel Ciderman.

Dan Fielding

Okay, fine, fine, fine, I don't need a rundown of the corn crime all-stars. I've known this guy for 30 years and you're not going to get any traction with him until you figure out what it is he wants from you.

Dan Fielding

Alright, what the hell's going on?! I haven't seen you this worked up since they pulled the Shamrock Shake early.

Abby

It should be all of March. You just have to trust me. Investing in Brock's app is a bad idea. I can't say anything else about it.

Dan Fielding

Well, luckily you don't have to, because I'm a master at reading people, and you're a master at having absolutely no poker face.

Abby

I have a poker face. I just haven't showed it to you yet.

Dan Fielding

Alright, then. Have a seat. Now, I am going to ask you a series of questions. All you need to do is respond "no". Do you understand?

Dan Fielding

Hey, you know what? It's worth the risk for me. You don't get a whole lot of billion-dollar ideas coming through here, you know.

Abby

But you're not just risking your own money. You're risking everyone else's. You're being selfish.

Dan Fielding

Oh, am I? Or maybe I'm being selfless, thinking that Brock may have changed, that he deserves a second chance, and all the other nonsense that you talk about.

Abby

You don't believe the nonsense I talk about.

Dan Fielding

No. No, I don't. But I do believe that one day, I could be so rich that I will never die.

Abby

Oh, by the way, I'm Abby.

I'm Gabby.

Abby

A judgeship. It's an incredible opportunity.

Dan Fielding

Yeah, being a judge is kind of a dream I had given up on. Think about it. I've been judging people my entire life for free. Now I'm gonna get a paycheck for it.

Abby

I can't blame you for following your dream. It would inspire me to follow my dream, but my dream's impossible. I want to be a twin.

Dan Fielding

Truth is, I was a bit adrift before you came and dragged me out of retirement, forced me to take this job. So, thank you.

Dan Fielding

Okay, uh, you will not agree with everything I am going to say up there, but just know that I'm doing what is best for my client.

Abby

I trust you. It's why I brought you back here. You're the best lawyer I know, the best lawyer my dad knew.

Dan Fielding

Oh, you think Santa and the elves are friends?

Abby

Santa, we have a special guest. We wouldn't want to spoil anything for her on the most magical night of the year.

Wyatt

Judge, I’m gonna say something because I need to get fired. Emily Blunt was a better Mary Poppins.

Abby

(overly dramatic) You are so fired!!

Abby

You're Mayim Bialik. TV's Blossom is in our courtroom.

Mayim

Can we not make a big deal out of it? I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like any other five time Emmy-nominated actress with a PhD.

Abby

Okay. I'm just gonna shoot my shot. Is there any chance you'd...

Mayim

Wanna do the Blossom opening credits dance with you? Do you have any idea how many people asked me to do that? Zero. I'd love to.