Jess and Cece in “Unfinished Business”

Jess

But you're using birth control, right?

Cece

Yeah, of course. It's just that Schmidt gets so athletic that birth control becomes like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane.

Jess

I didn't wanna know that. Okay, the pregnancy test doesn't work until after six days, so just get through the weekend and don't tell Schmidt until you're sure.

Cece

Yeah, no, of course not, of course. It's just... I can't stop thinking about what a Schmidt baby would be like.

Jess

Just, I mean, I, I don't know.

Cece

Would it just wanna nurse 24 hours a day?

Jess

Probably. We could make it, like, a douche baby jar.