[Eegah returns to his cave, carrying flowers.]
Crow [as Eegah]: [singing] Red roses for a blue ladyyyy...
Crow and Servo: [in unison] EEGAH SHUCKA! EEGAH! EEGAH!
Joel: [singing] I can't fight this feelin'...

[Eric flees to the stairs, where a skull tumbles down toward him.]
Crow: Everyone knows it's Slink-skull!

[Establishing shot of hospital]
Servo: ...and now, Trapper John, M.D.!
Crow: Boy, Tra-Trapper John, M.D. lives right next door to Medical Center!
Servo: Yeah!

[Ev and Dan struggle in the wind from a meteorite strike on their land.]
Servo [as Dan]: Why, I hope that bomb didn't land on our pile of tires and our busted refrigerator in the yard, and the rusted chassis of our '68 Impala!
. . .
Dan: What the [expletive deleted] hell was that?
Mike [as Dan]: Why, it's befuddlin' mah dumb cracker mind!

[Ev opens a dresser drawer and an assortment of puppet spiders pop their legs out of the drawer.]
Mike [as Spiders]: We're your dirty socks! Wash us!
Crow: Giant Puppet Invasion!

[Eva and Diabolik make love in a pile of money.]
Servo: They're really gonna have to get their money laundered.
Crow: Steve Forbes and his wife!
. . .
Mike: You know, with my budget, I'd be rolling around in a handful of change.
. . .
Servo: Paper cuts are brutal.
. . .
Crow: The young Alan Greenspan!
. . .
Servo: They got pretty injured when they tried this with gold bars.
. . .
Mike: If they make love in English pound notes, their sex is 50% better.
. . .
Servo [as Diabolik]: You're the frendliest teller I ever met! Last time, I just got a toaster!
. . .
Crow: You know, if he'd stolen just a little less, I could see her ass right now.
. . .
Crow: Got greed?
Servo: Member, FDIC! [chuckles]

[Exeter and his "team" are having an elegant dinner, complete with music by Mozart.]
Meacham: What do you think of Mr. Mozart, Exeter?
Exeter: I'm afraid I don't know the gent--
Servo [as Exeter]: I'm not an alien!
Exeter: My mind must have been wandering. Your composer, of course.
Meacham: Our composer? He belongs to the world.
Exeter: Yes, indeed.
Mike [as Exeter]: I'm not an alien.
. . .
Exeter: We won't start cracking the whip on Meacham until tomorrow.
Servo [as Exeter]: Then I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest -- but I'm not an alien!

[Explaining Fingal's problem, secretly watching movies doing work]
Appalonia: He was working in the data flow center of NoviCorp as a processor third class. He had a terrible job: monitoring routine data output on global climate control.
[The Warner Brothers logo appears on Fingal's screen.]
Mike: And its effect on Bugs Bunny.
. . .
Servo: Man, never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie.
. . .
Appalonia: And he'd been doing it for a few weeks before they caught him doing it.
Mike [as Appalonia]: Data entrying with no pants.
. . .
[Fingal gets caught.]
Crow: We now return to Billy Madison.

[Father has an extremely irritated look on his face.]
Mike [as Father]: Well. That settles it. Spankings all around, then.

[Father Mushroom disappears in a cloud of smoke.]
Servo: Whoa! [I] didn't think they had many landmines left in Narnia!

[Fingal (now Rick) is sending the chairman to rehab. Appalonia suggests "doppling" him into Daisy, the baboon Fingal was originally "doppled" as.]
Rick: Daisy's too good for the bastard. He's going on as an anteater!
Servo: Lay off the anteaters! Come on!
Crow: Man!

[Fingal (played by Raul Julia) finally awakes in his own body. Apollonia practically lies on him in a serious lip-lock.]
Crow: Eating Raul!

[Fingal and Apollonia go into yet another lip-lock in this PBS TV movie.]
Servo: Oh, and I guess "PBS" means "Public Boinking System", huh?

[Fingal has been "doppled" into a baboon.]
Fingal: At least I'm not an anteater.
Mike: This movie just hates anteaters!
. . .
Fingal: This cost me every credit I have?
Mike: He's gonna start flinging it any minute now!
. . .
Mike [as Fingal]: I'm as clumsy as a stupid, repulsive anteater!

[Fingal has been sent to therapy.]
Mike: [on the therapist] It's Merv Griffin!
Computer: Ask about his mother.
Servo [as Computer]: Ask if she wears Army boots.