[Cooper and Madeline proceed to leave Merlin's shop after his warning Cooper about using any of the spells in his spellbook]
Servo [as Cooper]: Look, my reviews have destroyed whole cities!

[Cooper has cast a spell that allows him to breathe fire using Merlin's book]
Mike: Surely, Merlin has brought good into the world!

[Cooper is "reviewing" Merlin's shop.]
Cooper: Do you know who I am? I am the supreme being!
Servo: Clapton?
Cooper: I chew places like this up and spit them into the toilet.
Mike: [laughs] Why?

[Cooper is grinning at Merlin's expense.]
Cooper: You really think you are Merlin, don't you?
Crow [as Cooper]: My cheek-lines disagree.

[Cortner and Jan are in their speeding car as they pass a couple of road signs. One of them reads "Winding Road."]
Mike: Hey, that was my prom theme!
Servo [as Cortner]: Stop sign, what stop sign? "Curve?" What curve?
[We see a shot of an expression of horror on Cortner's face as the car crashes.]
Crow [as Cortner]: Aughhh! The road is attacking me!

[Cortner attends a "Body Beautiful" beauty "auction".]
Mike [as Announcer]: Contestant number 3 slipped and her head fell off!
Servo [as Cortner]: I'LL TAKE HER, I'LL TAKE HER!!

[Cortner cruises through town, eyeing shapely pedestrians, as the soundtack continues the porny sax music.]
Servo [as Radio DJ]: [sultrily] It's a sleazy morning out there. You're listening to K-PORN, Holmes and Reems in the morning�� sleazy, slutty music all morning long. Here's one from Skinny and the Sweat Beads.

[Cortner emerges from his vehicle, to yet another reprise of the saxophone music.]
Mike [as Radio DJ]: Stay tuned for the Obscene Phone Call of the Day on... K-PORN!
Servo: [echoing, hushed] K-PORN!

[Cortner falls to the ground, clutching the head and gazing accusingly at the sky]
Crow [with British accent]: Oh, thank you, God! Thank you so bloody much!

[Cortner has just snatched Jan's head from the wreck and has hidden it in a blanket.]
Servo [as Jan]: [muffled] D-Don't forget my purse! Honey?
. . .
Servo [as Jan]: [muffled] You just had to go fast, didn't you? Now look, Mr. Bigshot! Now I don't have a body anymore! Are you happy?
. . .
[Cortner runs through the woods, clutching the head in his arms.]
Mike [as Sports Announcer]: Riggins is at the 20�� He's at the 10�� No one will catch him!
Crow: He's either gonna win the Nobel Prize or the Heisman Trophy.

[Credit for Eastman Film.]
Servo: Eastman: He came out of the east to do battle with the Amazing Rando!

[Credits display: Mathew Bruch as Nick Miller]
Servo: We serve a delicious bruch every Suh-day.

[Credits end with "all rights reserved"]
Mike: All rights are reserved, Callahan!
Crow [as Clint Eastwood]: Oh yeah? Well, what about the rights of that little girl?
Season 8

[Credits read: "A David Hue production"].
Mike: In association with Bob Tet Offensive Productions.

[Crow breaches the satellite's hull as he tries to escape, causing the air to be sucked out]
Crow: Woah, I didn't expect this!
Servo: Attaining.... maximum RPM.... adjust pitch and yaw thrusters..... stabilize! There, that ought to [gets sucked towards hole] AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
. . .
Crow: Well, this is confusing! Mike, could you hand me my calculations?
[A wad of paper is blown across the bay and hits Crow in the face.]
Crow: Thank you! Huh, would you look at that: "Breach Hull - All Die"! Even had it underlined!
. . .
[Servo lands right-side up on the hole]
Servo: Hey, I'm experiencing a sensation altogether new to me, and frankly... I LOVE IT!
. . .
[Crow explains his unsuccessful attempt to burrow a way out of the Satellite of Love.]
Crow: Believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding against the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid�� and I went ahead anyway.