Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotes[After Servo finishes a song about Tibby the turtle]
Crow: Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?
Crow: Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?
[After shrinking out of his spacesuit and then fighting tiny people, Chapman is put on trial.]
Judge Eden: Man from Earth, you are accused of causing injury to one of our people.
Chapman: I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself.
Servo [as Chapman]: ��with courage and nudeness.
Judge Eden: Man from Earth, you are accused of causing injury to one of our people.
Chapman: I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself.
Servo [as Chapman]: ��with courage and nudeness.
[After slaughtering tenses and mispronouncing werewolf multiple times, Natalie walks in and sees Paul as a werewolf.]
Mike [as Natalie]: Paul, you is a wahrwilf!
Mike [as Natalie]: Paul, you is a wahrwilf!
[After speaking with Jimmy, Mr. Warren prepares some paperwork with concern.]
Servo [as Warren]: Hmm. I didn't know he had a prison record. Says here he's wanted in Idaho.
Joel [as Warren]: Hmm? What in the world?! "Assault with a deadly weapon"?!
Crow [as Warren]: A.K.A., the "Pantsless Salesman"? Or the "Piddling Peddler"?!
Bride of the Monster (movie)
Servo [as Warren]: Hmm. I didn't know he had a prison record. Says here he's wanted in Idaho.
Joel [as Warren]: Hmm? What in the world?! "Assault with a deadly weapon"?!
Crow [as Warren]: A.K.A., the "Pantsless Salesman"? Or the "Piddling Peddler"?!
Bride of the Monster (movie)
[After Tee and Leonardo are recaptured by the forest Prince, a noisy, loony henchman drops out of the trees in belated pursuit.]
Loony Henchman: I'm com-iiiing!
Mike [as The Prince]: Put a sock in it, Legolas!
Loony Henchman: I'm com-iiiing!
Mike [as The Prince]: Put a sock in it, Legolas!
[After the climactic battle, Marinda lies dying in Deathstalker's arms.]
Marinda: I love you!
Servo: Quick! Jam a potato in the wound!
Crow [as Marinda]: You were my first... tuber.
Marinda: I love you!
Servo: Quick! Jam a potato in the wound!
Crow [as Marinda]: You were my first... tuber.
[After the destruction of the space platform, Ro-Man addresses the human survivors]
Ro-Man: And now, of the two billion, there are six. Calculate your chances. Negative, negative, negative.
Crow: He's so negative!
Ro-Man: And now, of the two billion, there are six. Calculate your chances. Negative, negative, negative.
Crow: He's so negative!
[After the film fades out on a man being grabbed and carried off by a gang, it fades back in on a photograph of the same man.]
Tom Servo: [gasps] They flattened him!
Tom Servo: [gasps] They flattened him!
[After the final battle, Godzilla walks away.]
Rok-san: Godzilla! Bye-bye!
Servo [as Goro]: Thanks for leveling our country!
Rok-san: Godzilla! Bye-bye!
Servo [as Goro]: Thanks for leveling our country!
[After the latest attack by the British military on Gorgo's mom proves ineffective.]
Servo: Pacifist or not, Gandhi's gotta be chuckling right now.
Servo: Pacifist or not, Gandhi's gotta be chuckling right now.
[After the narrator has explained the egg collecting process at great length]
Mike: Eggs are complicated; they should cost like a hundred dollars each.
Mike: Eggs are complicated; they should cost like a hundred dollars each.
[After the stars a list of names under "With" comes up.]
Joel: These are the extras...they'll probably get killed.
Joel: These are the extras...they'll probably get killed.
[After Vicki passes out from exhaustion during her solo, the music is still playing on the reel-to-reel, with her voice still singing as well.]
Crow: She still lip-syncs better than Jewel.
Crow: She still lip-syncs better than Jewel.
[Aged with magic use, Cooper infuses his cat with an evil spirit and then fire-breathes on it to stop its attacks.]
Servo [as Madeline]: Honey? You okay down there?
Mike [as Cooper]: Well, I got old and roasted the cat alive with my breath, but I'm fine!
Servo [as Madeline]: Honey? You okay down there?
Mike [as Cooper]: Well, I got old and roasted the cat alive with my breath, but I'm fine!