Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotes[A piece of background music ends over a shot of a roulette game in progress.]
Mike, Crow, Servo: GAMBLING!
Mike, Crow, Servo: GAMBLING!
[a plain sign with a very crude drawing of a hamburger and the word "BURGERS" is seen in the background]
Mike: That sign is really seducing me into buying a burger!
Mike: That sign is really seducing me into buying a burger!
[A plane starts taxiing the runway.]
Crow [as pilot]: Ah, Roger, tower, which way is the sky?
Crow [as pilot]: Ah, Roger, tower, which way is the sky?
[A police car passes the car Jody is driving]
Mike [as Barney Fife]: I'm telling you, Andy, there was a demon in the car!
Mike [as Barney Fife]: I'm telling you, Andy, there was a demon in the car!
[A policeman yells from his car window through a bullhorn in a heart-pounding, made-for-television car chase.]
Sheriff Kyle: Pull over! This is the sheriff's office!
Crow: Office?! That's a car.
Sheriff Kyle: Pull over! This is the sheriff's office!
Crow: Office?! That's a car.
[A poster for Dr. Lombardi's show features a picture of him, serious and unsmiling]
Mike: See his lecture series, "Let A Smile Be Your Calling Card."
Mike: See his lecture series, "Let A Smile Be Your Calling Card."
[A priest carries the prone Xochi up the aisle to the sacrificial altar.]
Joel: Kind of looks like Dirty Dancing, doesn't it?
Servo [as Xochi]: [singing to "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"]
Joel: Kind of looks like Dirty Dancing, doesn't it?
Servo [as Xochi]: [singing to "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"]
[A prolonged still shot of a tree as the speeding car approaches.]
Mike [as tree]: Hi. I'm a tree. Just wanted to put in a good word or two in for nature since the camera's on me. Thanks for your time.
Mike [as tree]: Hi. I'm a tree. Just wanted to put in a good word or two in for nature since the camera's on me. Thanks for your time.
[A question mark appears on-screen.]
Crow [as the Riddler]: Riddle me this, Batman! [cackles]
Crow [as the Riddler]: Riddle me this, Batman! [cackles]
[A quick shot of a rocket on a launch pad.]
Crow: Oh, look! A V-2!
Tom: Aw, I could've had a V8!
Crow: Oh, look! A V-2!
Tom: Aw, I could've had a V8!
[A rail-thin beatnik waiter attends to a table at a restaurant. The waiter has a very distinct hairstyle and moustache.]
Crow: Hey! Hitler! We want to order over here!
Crow: Hey! Hitler! We want to order over here!
[A restless mob begins to form with the intent of taking out the giant spider.]
Crow [as a mob member]: Free Bobby Seale!
Servo [as a mob member]: Free Mumia!
Mike [as a mob member]: Free beer!
Crow [as a mob member]: Free Bobby Seale!
Servo [as a mob member]: Free Mumia!
Mike [as a mob member]: Free beer!
[A robot head hangs over a garage door with the words, "THE END".]
Servo: Aah! They hung his head! Oh��
Crow: Now I'm ready for years of powerful Adlerian therapy, Mike.
Servo: They hung his head... oh... oh this is worse than Se7en!
Mike: Hey! His bump is on the other side!
The Screaming Skull (movie)
Servo: Aah! They hung his head! Oh��
Crow: Now I'm ready for years of powerful Adlerian therapy, Mike.
Servo: They hung his head... oh... oh this is worse than Se7en!
Mike: Hey! His bump is on the other side!
The Screaming Skull (movie)
[A robot is digging up the flower garden.]
Crow [as mobster]: Gotta move this body back upstate.
Crow [as mobster]: Gotta move this body back upstate.
[A robot throws a wrench at Gumbo, which goes through him and leaves a wrench-shaped hole in his torso.]
Servo: Liquid metal!
[The camera cuts to Gumby's reaction.]
Mike [as Gumby]: Hey, you can throw things through Dad! I'm gonna get an anvil!
Servo: Liquid metal!
[The camera cuts to Gumby's reaction.]
Mike [as Gumby]: Hey, you can throw things through Dad! I'm gonna get an anvil!