TV's Frank: It's none other than British pop star, Morrissey!... He's a little depressed.
[Frank turns to Morrissey]
TV's Frank: So Morrissey, uh, how ya' doin'?
Morrissey: [turns to Dr. Forrester] He hurt me with that remark. Did I mention that I cried?
TV's Frank: Well, I mean, c'mon Morrissey. We're basically evil, granted, but a lot of what we say is just good-natured ribbing.
Morrissey: Well, it hurt me. Did I mention that I cried?

Vadinho: My name is Vadinho.
Crow [as Vadinho]: I'm an onion.

Wally: Mr. Tannen! Hey, Mr. Tannen!
Mike [as Wally]: Get out of my wine!

Watchguard: But... I warned... Those creatures... The vault... I tried...
Servo: Sentence fragments. Just phrases.

Watney: Listen, Cabot, what the hell are you talking about? Where are we? What's going on here, Cabot?
Crow [as Cabot]: Ssh! I'm acting!
Cabot: I must go to Koruba!
Watney: What?
Cabot: Koruba.
[Cabot walks away, and starts ignoring Watney]
Watney: The same to you! Cabot, listen. Listen to me! Cabot, what's going on here? What happened last night? Did I do something wrong? Damnit, Cabot.
Mike, Crow & Servo: [chanting] Kill him... kill him... kill him... kill him...
Watney: Cabot, will you listen to me? I wanna go home right now, Cabot. Where are you going? No, no, wait there, Cabot! Tell me what the hell's going on, here. Is this one of your crazy science experiments, huh?
Mike: [whispers] Cabot, no-one would see if you killed him right now!
Crow: They'd probably give you a free drink at the Pullman.

Watney: You know how to party, don't'cha, Cabot?
Mike [as Watney]: You just put your lips together and drink!

Woman: [singing] I dreamed last night, the moon was so bright...
Mike: Aw, y'know, I hate it when people tell me about their dreams.

Woman: I want a Corvette!
Mike [as Mystery Man]: [singing] I don't give a tin sh...!
Mystery Man: I thought you would!
Crow [as Mystery Man]: That's why I entered your head!
Woman: [singing] I want a Pontiac, too!
Mike: Man, she's a high-maintanence date!

Zap Rowsdower: What's your name, laddy?
Troy: Troy MacGregor.
Zap Rowsdower: I'm Rowsdower. Zap Rowsdower.
Crow: Yeah, well I'm Bill Shtinkwater!
[Rowsdower's truck starts up.]
Mike: Rowsdowermobile, away!
Servo: And together they fought crime throughout Southwestern Alberta!

(A Huge Cloud is seen on screen with some of the sun peaking through)
Crow:There will be patches of scattered god today

A surveillance monitor shows black-and-white footage of a slow-moving robber.]
Crow: It's some guy sneaking around like a silent film villain!
Servo: [singing] Take on me...

NOTE: This short was never aired, but it is available on DVD as part of Volume 7.

[ Dr. Steve Hardy appears on-screen.]
Crow: Hey, he was old even then!
Manhunt in Space (movie)

["A Jam Handy Production" credit is shown]
Crow: Jam Handy, reminding you to keep your preserves in a convenient place!
Squirm (movie)

["Creeper" Hal Moffett sneaks into the apartment of blind Helen Paige, as usual seated at her piano.]
Servo [as Moffett]: Uh... look, Helen. Other girls in the sorority asked me to talk to you about your incessant piano playing.