Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

1930 total quotes

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Spacecraft Captain: We are the supreme race! We have the supreme weapons!
Servo [as Captain]: We have the supreme pizzas!
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Susan: What if we turned ourselves in to the police?
Servo [as Stan]: Then we'd be policemen and could drop the charges!
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Suzy: Is Frankie here?
Beth: Frankie's not here.
Mike: Frankie goes to Hollywood.
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Suzy: Well, Frankie, are you chicken?
Mike [as Frankie]: Uh, let me see... am I a chicken? Well I don't have a comb, or a gizzard, but sometimes I do ingest gravel to grind my food and my--uh...
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Taylor: Never mind the dog, Tommy...
Servo [as Taylor]: Here's the Sex Pistols.
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Ted Husing: Now you've got a boatload of live cargo -- a wildcat, three six-foot rattlers, and a couple of little teddy bears. It seems to me, I'd call it day, or call a taxi, or...
Crow: ...or call PETA!
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Tee: I was taught that those who I respect, who are wise, I should call "master".
Crow [as Tee]: Right, Mr. Bater?
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Tee: When in doubt, rest.
Crow: You are full of crap beyond your years, kid.
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Terry: I've got an idea.
[The scene cuts to a woman posing in a bikini]
Servo: What a great idea!
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The Master: Silence!
Joel: Is golden!
The Master: Silence!
Joel: Is golden!
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Tom: He maintains an applicance. Duh-dah DA DAAAAAAAAA!
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Tom: What are we looking at and why are we looking at it?
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Tommy's mother: Tommy, can you hear me?
Joel [as Tommy's mother]: Can you feel me near you?
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Tommy: You know what "play" means, Trumpy?
Crow [as Trumpy]: Yes, it's where I break you in half.
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Troxartis: [haltingly, overacting] This has. Nothingtodowith. Being RICH.
Servo [as Troxartis]: I put the. Beatsinmyown. Script and I'm. Sticking WITH them.
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