Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesServo: So basically, according to themselves, the Air Force is a bunch of leather-faced, not-so-bright, heavy drinking, dull-witted speed freaks who poop in their pants and can't make it with women, right?
Mike: Um...
Servo: Am I right?
Mike: Yeah. That is correct.
Mike: Um...
Servo: Am I right?
Mike: Yeah. That is correct.
Servo: So Crow, if we ever get off this ship, what's the first thing you're going to do when we get to Earth?
Crow: Uh well the first thing I'm gonna do is kill Sandy Frank!
Servo: Oh, that's just a given!
Crow: Uh well the first thing I'm gonna do is kill Sandy Frank!
Servo: Oh, that's just a given!
Servo: Think anybody at the Rockefeller Foundation questioned the dynamite line-item?
Servo: This is so almost Mitchell.
Crow: It's about fifty pounds short of Mitchell.
Crow: It's about fifty pounds short of Mitchell.
Servo: This is the same sumptuously detailed set that was later used in The Age of Innocence!
Crow: Or was it Sense and Sensibility?
Mike: I think it was Barfly.
Crow: Yeah, that's it.
Crow: Or was it Sense and Sensibility?
Mike: I think it was Barfly.
Crow: Yeah, that's it.
Servo: This isn't a real movie, it's more of a movie loaf.
Mike: Yeah, it's made from real movie parts, chunked and formed.
Mike: Yeah, it's made from real movie parts, chunked and formed.
Servo: When in California, be sure to visit beautiful...
[The words "Washington, D.C." appear on screen]
Servo: ...oh.
Crow: [as golf announcer] It's a long, Par 5 on the way to the nation's capital.
Mike: Washingtonland, the new Disney theme park!
[The words "Washington, D.C." appear on screen]
Servo: ...oh.
Crow: [as golf announcer] It's a long, Par 5 on the way to the nation's capital.
Mike: Washingtonland, the new Disney theme park!
Servo: Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Can't he just show them a pie chart or something?
Servo: You know, ants can carry entire watermelons. And big chicken legs. Happened in The Flintstones.
Crow: I had a chicken leg once. I had to wear corrective shoes.
Crow: I had a chicken leg once. I had to wear corrective shoes.
Silver: Any.. studs around here?
Serafina: Any what?
Silver: Daddy-O's. He-males. Stags!
Serafina: Only the gardeners.
Crow [as Serafina]: And Father Fabio!
Serafina: Any what?
Silver: Daddy-O's. He-males. Stags!
Serafina: Only the gardeners.
Crow [as Serafina]: And Father Fabio!