Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

1930 total quotes


Servo: Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?

Servo: Dum-da-dum-dum-dum.... oh, hello Mike! Everything working fine on the ol' Satellite of Love? No problems or mishaps today?
Mike: Nope, everything appears to be nominal.
Servo: Ah, nominal! Good! Good! So I guess you're not wondering what that rhythmic pounding might be?
Mike: [listens] Yeah, what is that?
Servo: Yeah, what is that? I'm a highly sophisicated robot, Mike, and I've got to tell you, this isn't normal. Something's causing this, Mike. Now, let's see... I'm here, you're here, Gypsy's here....
Mike: Okay, Tom. Where's Crow?
Servo: Where's Crow? Well, I wasn't supposed to say anything, but I did see the little moron heading to the basement with a pickaxe in his hands!

Servo: Emby Mellay? That's not a name, it's a bad Scrabble hand.

Servo: Forget about life-jackets this is The 50's.
Catching Trouble (short)

Servo: He can't decide if he's a creeper, a peeper, a stalker, a walker, a backbreaker...
Crow: In today's job market, you can't afford not to diversify.

Servo: If you'd like to contact Harold P. Warren, look in the Yellow Pages for the Fertilizer Corporation of Texas.

Servo: It's Brooke Shields, the Creature from the Blue Lagoon!

Servo: Kenneth Branagh's Mary Shelley's Bram Stoker's Wes Craven's Tim Burton's Beast of Yucca Flats. A Francis Ford Coppola film.

Servo: Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, at the Copacabana, Jules Bedel proudly presents: Pat Benatar and Tricia Nixon!

Servo: Meanwhile, in another movie? [sighs] Patience, gentle viewer, it'll all make sense soon.... NOT!

Servo: Meanwhile, the Midvale police visit his locker. Find out why they call him "Buzz".

Servo: Next step, open a grocery store.

Servo: People with pacemakers, do not watch Raul Julia here.

Servo: Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.

Servo: So againg lesbian nuns run the fututre?