Servo [as Narrator]: Now would be a good time for some phrases... A woman's purse. Flag on the moon. A man murdered. ...I'll check back in a moment.

Servo [as Narrator]: Remember, always cut the meat of the person to your left.

Servo [as the Beast]: Why, why can't I get a baked potato before five in this town?

Servo [as the Ghost]: SCROOGE! Oh, wait, wrong story.

Servo [singing]: If I could join the FFA, my life would be complete, I'd till the soil, I'd bale some hay...

Servo [singing]: It's a wonderful world when you're married, when you have a family...

Servo, Mike, or Crow[As various people in the mob]: Packers!

Servo: [in response to a clown on screen] Woah, seen him in my nightmares...

Servo: [singing along to the music]

Servo: Ah, but in real life, Johnny is last chair with the preschool band.
War of the Colossal Beast (movie)

Servo: All these random scenes simply abut each other to form a movie.

Servo: And the legend continues... to be not heard about, by anyone!

Servo: And, we'll be right back, right after this. Kids, here's the greatest, the neatest, the latest thing! 5000-piece Spike Meta-Monster set, some pieces not included, astonish and baffle your friends and foes as you pulverize Japan! Here's what you get: 500 Japanese light infantry (valuepartsmaynotbemissing), 36 helpless individuals, 20 tanks, 15 rifles, 24 bazooka gun runners, 18 ambulance chasers,12 fighters (setnotincluded), 16 helicopter parts, 200 shooting crossers, 19 fighting clowns, 6 geese a' layin', 24 Mohawk Indians, and much, much, much more! And now recieve it at half the extra value with this defining monster action pack! Flame on with Gamera (torso sold seperately), he belches real fire and causes real pain. Solid rubber Barugon comes with ram-tongue action (not responsible for nerve damage). Act Now! Act Often and snap on the entire "TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA" (some parts may not exist). Complete with buildings, bridges and the breakaway Kurobe dam (smaller than shown). Trample the add on "HAPLESS CITIZEN" Play set, then abhor the action with the fabulous "ANTI-WAR PROTEST Pack."But that's not all! Relive your favorite Japanese movie carnage with the "LIGHTS!, GAMERA!, ACTION!" series. There's the Gimp, the Goon, the Shaved Old Brother, the Hapless Geisha and the Fall Apart Voodoo Kenny. Pose in the nude with the Frisky Kitten Review, then watch the action from high atop Tokyo Tower, as the twisted world you created explodes in rivers of blood and endless pain. Order today! Offer limited! Not available in Utah or Puerto Rico! Prices subject to whim! Please wear rubber underwear! Some parts may be made of chicken! Act now! Buy bonds! Mommy! Mmmmmmommy! Mommy! Momm-mmmph! [Joel muffles him with an oxygen mask]
Joel: Let's not do that again, okay? We'll be right back.
Servo: [collapses into big, healthy, frightened tears as Joel consoles him]

Servo: Are we in the Southern portion of the Galaxy?

Servo: Blood waters, huh? Guess Dr. Z had a little kidney problem.