Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesProfessor Bueller: Many of his listeners won't be able to understand him, and those that do...
Joel [as Bueller]: ...will wish he were dead.
Earth vs. the Spider (movie)
Joel [as Bueller]: ...will wish he were dead.
Earth vs. the Spider (movie)
Reporter: Everyone is asking the same question...
Servo: Why am I watching this?
Servo: Why am I watching this?
Reverend: Every day I'm reminded of the things that happened to the people that weren't even there.
Crow: Oh, sure-- HUH?
Crow: Oh, sure-- HUH?
Scalli: Hey, Joe!
Servo [as Scalli]: Where you going with that gun in your hand?
Servo [as Scalli]: Where you going with that gun in your hand?
Sean: Because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some [audio cuts out]in' book!
Crow: Oh! I've read some [audio cuts out]in' book!
Crow: Oh! I've read some [audio cuts out]in' book!
Servo & Crow [as the Neptune Men]: HA. HA. HA. HA. Your costume is ridiculous.
Servo [as J.K.]: I leave for 20 minutes, and EvilCo is in shambles!
Crow [as Matt]: I'm a team player!
Crow [as Matt]: I'm a team player!
Servo [as Khorsa]: [addressing the Warriors from Hell] Excuse me, Mr. Moose?
Mike [as the Warriors from Hell]: We're bats, ma'am. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
Mike [as the Warriors from Hell]: We're bats, ma'am. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
Servo [as Narrator]: A violent argument erupts over whose day was more pleasant.
Servo [as Narrator]: Jaworski, Ron Jaworski. Played quarterback for the Eagles.