Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesNarrator: Remember the old henhouse?
Servo: The one with the rats?
Narrator: It's now a hotel... a pullet hotel.
Mike: Rooms by the hour.
Servo: The one with the rats?
Narrator: It's now a hotel... a pullet hotel.
Mike: Rooms by the hour.
Narrator: Seems like most everybody in town's turned out for the great day.
Joel [as Narrator]: All nine of 'em.
Joel [as Narrator]: All nine of 'em.
Narrator: Sexing the chicks, or separating the males from the females, is a highly specialized trade.
Servo: Yeah, for pervs!
[A farmer inspects one of the chicks]
Crow [as farmer]: Whoa, Milton Berle there...
Servo: Yeah, for pervs!
[A farmer inspects one of the chicks]
Crow [as farmer]: Whoa, Milton Berle there...
Narrator: Some carrots are frozen.
Crow: Some carrots are humiliated publicly.
Crow: Some carrots are humiliated publicly.
Narrator: Somehow, that odd little look Miss Grandy gave you seemed to haunt you.
[As Johnny lies awake in bed, an massive image of Miss Grandy's face appears beside him as he remembers her expression.]
Servo [as Johnny]: Oh, hi Miss Grandy-- EAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAH! GET AWAY!
[As Johnny lies awake in bed, an massive image of Miss Grandy's face appears beside him as he remembers her expression.]
Servo [as Johnny]: Oh, hi Miss Grandy-- EAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAH! GET AWAY!
Narrator: Sure, it's a different country, and I'm a foreigner here. But the Venezuelans have already made me feel welcome. All I have to do now is lick that language problem.
Crow [as Narrator]: �� and Escobar here.
Crow [as Narrator]: �� and Escobar here.
Narrator: The beast, finding his victims gone, unleashes his fury.
Mike [as the Beast]: Ah, fudge!
Mike [as the Beast]: Ah, fudge!
Narrator: The beautiful bareback riding ballerina, Miss Lucy!
Servo: ...could not be with us tonight, so instead we have this act.
Servo: ...could not be with us tonight, so instead we have this act.
Narrator: The carrots are washed first.
Crow [as Narrator]: They're made flavorless so people will buy steak!
Crow [as Narrator]: They're made flavorless so people will buy steak!
Narrator: The ear is the human organ the public speaker is most likely to try to impress as he makes a speech.
Servo [as Narrator]: ��after the human nipple.
Servo [as Narrator]: ��after the human nipple.
Narrator: The idea of this community integration project is to make people independent, instead of having to look to the company for everything.
Mike [as Narrator]: It's called Venezuelalization.
Mike [as Narrator]: It's called Venezuelalization.
Narrator: The largest crop is sugar cane, which has been cultivated here for centuries.
Mike [as Narrator]: ...so you can sugar-frost your damn cornflakes! Filthy American pigs.
Mike [as Narrator]: ...so you can sugar-frost your damn cornflakes! Filthy American pigs.
Narrator: The monster next appeared in Lovers' Lane.
Mike [as Narrator]: ��to a sold-out crowd!
Narrator: Everyone who experienced that catastrophe and survived would never go there again.
Servo [as Narrator]: And those who did not survive such a catastrophe also would not go there again.
Mike [as Narrator]: ��to a sold-out crowd!
Narrator: Everyone who experienced that catastrophe and survived would never go there again.
Servo [as Narrator]: And those who did not survive such a catastrophe also would not go there again.
Narrator: The range shelter should be very small, not holding more than a hundred birds.
Mike [as Narrator]: Or migrant workers.
Narrator: The shelter protects them from the sun and gives them a safe place to roost out of the way of rodents.
[Over a shot of chickens frantically fluttering out of a hen house]
Crow, Mike, Servo [as chickens]: RODENTS?! AAAAHHH!!
Mike [as Narrator]: Or migrant workers.
Narrator: The shelter protects them from the sun and gives them a safe place to roost out of the way of rodents.
[Over a shot of chickens frantically fluttering out of a hen house]
Crow, Mike, Servo [as chickens]: RODENTS?! AAAAHHH!!
Narrator: The women of this family seem to feel that they owe it to the men of the family to look relaxed, rested, and attractive at dinnertime.
Mike [as Narrator]: So they're unsuspecting when they kill them.
Mike [as Narrator]: So they're unsuspecting when they kill them.