Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesNarrator: But wait a minute, you may be saying...
Crow [as Narrator]: Why am I watching this?
Narrator: Can those chicks just out of the shell be sent without food on trips of a day, two days, even three?
Servo: You bet!
Narrator: Indeed they can!
Servo: [surprised] ...Heh, I was right!
Crow [as Narrator]: Why am I watching this?
Narrator: Can those chicks just out of the shell be sent without food on trips of a day, two days, even three?
Servo: You bet!
Narrator: Indeed they can!
Servo: [surprised] ...Heh, I was right!
Narrator: Condominiums, leisure villages, and a complete range of outdoor activities make Progress Island an ideal place to live for every member of the family.
Servo: Except Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Grandpa, Grandma...
Servo: Except Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Grandpa, Grandma...
Narrator: Do you begin to see now how a date with your family can be a truly special occasion?
Mike [as Narrator]: Do you? DO YOU?
Narrator: And why Brother and Sister looked forward to the evening?
Mike [as Narrator]: WELL, DO YOU? BETTER SAY "YES", DAMMIT!
Narrator: When the dinner hour at home is treated with a certain amount of graciousness and ceremony, it can be memorable. There is no family so poor but that the evening meal can be eaten in an atmosphere of warmth and gentleness.
Servo [as Narrator]: ...and control and repression.
Mike [as Narrator]: Do you? DO YOU?
Narrator: And why Brother and Sister looked forward to the evening?
Mike [as Narrator]: WELL, DO YOU? BETTER SAY "YES", DAMMIT!
Narrator: When the dinner hour at home is treated with a certain amount of graciousness and ceremony, it can be memorable. There is no family so poor but that the evening meal can be eaten in an atmosphere of warmth and gentleness.
Servo [as Narrator]: ...and control and repression.
Narrator: Don't make unkind comparisons about your stand[ard of] living. The dinner table is no place for discontent. It makes Dad and Mother uncomfortable and unhappy.
Crow [as Narrator]: ��and they already dislike you enough.
Crow [as Narrator]: ��and they already dislike you enough.
Narrator: Don't monopolize the conversation and go on and on without stopping. Nothing destroys the charm of a meal more quickly.
Mike [as Narrator]: ��than having a personality.
Mike [as Narrator]: ��than having a personality.
Narrator: Father serves Mother first, then Daughter.
Mike [as Narrator]: Let's go to the flowchart for this.
. . .
Crow [as Narrator]: And be sure to make a plate for the narrator.
Mike [as Narrator]: Let's go to the flowchart for this.
. . .
Crow [as Narrator]: And be sure to make a plate for the narrator.
Narrator: Flag on the moon. How'd it get there?
Mike: These are all just random sentences, folks.
Mike: These are all just random sentences, folks.
Narrator: For the visitor, Progress Island offers a tremendous variety of experiences, beginning with the rich and colorful heritage of the Caribbean.
Crow [as Narrator]: ...which we buried in order to build skyscrapers.
Mike [as Narrator]: Look, just come here!
Crow [as Narrator]: ...which we buried in order to build skyscrapers.
Mike [as Narrator]: Look, just come here!
Narrator: From now on, their main job in life is to eat and grow.
Servo: [singing] Eat and grow forever...
Servo: [singing] Eat and grow forever...
Narrator: George and Andy help Bill feed the pigs every day��
Servo [as Narrator]: Day after life-sucking day.
Servo [as Narrator]: Day after life-sucking day.
Narrator: Here in southern Texas, they have an additional problem...
Crow: Texans.
Crow: Texans.
Narrator: Here in the Rio Grande delta, Mexican citizens who cross the border on temporary work permits, help.
Crow: They make it sound so nice!
. . .
[A young Mexican woman picks carrots under the merciless sun.]
Joel [as Narrator]: A preteen is put to work. Her beauty will soon fade.
Crow: They make it sound so nice!
. . .
[A young Mexican woman picks carrots under the merciless sun.]
Joel [as Narrator]: A preteen is put to work. Her beauty will soon fade.
Narrator: How does Jeff get ideas like that?
Servo [as Narrator]: From the voices inside his head.
[Nick notices piece of paper on bulletin board]
Narrator: Wait a minute, maybe this is where Jeff gets his ideas!
Joel: The lunch menu?
Servo [as Narrator]: From the voices inside his head.
[Nick notices piece of paper on bulletin board]
Narrator: Wait a minute, maybe this is where Jeff gets his ideas!
Joel: The lunch menu?
Narrator: In this all-purpose, two-lid utility storage cabinet with 23-cubic-foot storage capacity...
Mike [as Narrator]: Bodies stack easy.
Mike [as Narrator]: Bodies stack easy.