Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesMr. B Natural: When you want to show dignity, Buzz, try a French horn!
Joel: Uh, Mr. B, what would you know about dignity?
Joel: Uh, Mr. B, what would you know about dignity?
Mr. B Natural: Whether you know it or not, you sent for me! When you reached down to grab that music, to make yourself feel better, you awakened the spirit of music inside you! That's me, B Natural!
Servo: [excited] So I'm attracted to guys now?
[Joel nudges Servo, shaking his head as if to say "stop that!"]
Servo: [excited] So I'm attracted to guys now?
[Joel nudges Servo, shaking his head as if to say "stop that!"]
Mr. B Natural: You sing a baby a lullaby, and it coos.
Crow [as Jerry Lewis]: The lull-a-baby-bye! Oh... go away!
Crow [as Jerry Lewis]: The lull-a-baby-bye! Oh... go away!
Mr. Trumball: You got a warrant, sheriff?
Servo [as Sheriff Kyle]: Yeah, I got a made-for-tv warrant right here.
Servo [as Sheriff Kyle]: Yeah, I got a made-for-tv warrant right here.
Mulder: Was it the same "they" who gave you those bikes?
Crow: No, It was Bike-Gifting Man.
Ever After
Crow: No, It was Bike-Gifting Man.
Ever After
Mystery Man: [singing] This Buick's a beaut!
Woman: [singing] I'll Try it!
Crow:She's going to roll it!
[Mike and Tom Servo gasp]
...
Woman: [singing] I'll Try it!
Crow:She's going to roll it!
[Mike and Tom Servo gasp]
...
Narrator: "No, Johnny," says Mom, "We're going to the art gallery."
Servo [as Mom]: And you'll like it!
Crow [as Johnny]: No! I don't wanna go!
Servo [as Mom]: And you'll like it!
Crow [as Johnny]: No! I don't wanna go!
Narrator: ..."A baseball game, oh boy." But when he gets there he finds a five-year-old can't get close enough to see anything.
Servo [as Narrator]: Besides, the Mariners are playing, so who cares?
Narrator: Unless someone lifts you up and put you on the lap of the undefeated champion of the world, Joe Louis.
Crow [as Narrator]: Joe hits Johnny up for fifteen cents due to tax problems.
Servo [as Narrator]: Besides, the Mariners are playing, so who cares?
Narrator: Unless someone lifts you up and put you on the lap of the undefeated champion of the world, Joe Louis.
Crow [as Narrator]: Joe hits Johnny up for fifteen cents due to tax problems.
Narrator: ...and this is a good place to point out a few facts about eggs.
Mike [as Narrator]: Stop throwing them at my car!
Mike [as Narrator]: Stop throwing them at my car!
Narrator: ...he will relax at dinner with those he loves.
Crow: But not these people.
Crow: But not these people.
Narrator: [as Santa's sleigh is flying in the sky] I wonder where Santa will go first? Europe? Africa? America?
Servo: Circle Pines?
Servo: Circle Pines?
Narrator: [during funeral sequence] Then there was Lenny, who wouldn't be going to college that fall...
Crow: [curtly] ...because he's DUMB!
Crow: [curtly] ...because he's DUMB!
Narrator: [on Joe's fiance Helen] She was the kind of girl who'd be happy just being "Mrs. Joe".
Mike: So his name is Joe Joe?
Mike: So his name is Joe Joe?
Narrator: [on the frailty of time] A minor accident may take a few days away, a major one a few years...
Mike: A disastarous one would be cool to watch!
Mike: A disastarous one would be cool to watch!
Narrator: A land the size of Rhode Island, it is just as American in its way of life.
Crow [as Narrator]: So you might as well just stay where you are.
Crow [as Narrator]: So you might as well just stay where you are.