Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

1930 total quotes


Mike: So, they're going to escape under the cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county?

Mike: This freezer rules!

Mike: This is like a murderous episode of Lucy.

Mike: This is one of the most ambitiously bad movies we have ever done.

Mike: Too bad we can't grab this movie with a tissue and crumple it and flush it down the toilet.

Mike: Yeah, let's get out the manual. Kill someone? Turn to page 37.

Mike: You guys know, is there a credible melting man?

Mike: You know what this has? The bacony smell of Canada all over it.

Mike: You know, a lot of people have compared this to the chariot scene in Ben-Hur?
Servo: Oh?
Mike: Yeah, they usually say something like, "Ben-Hur was really good. This one totally sucked."

Mike: You know, I hope nobody ever scrolls up this cinema.

Moon Grey: [being dragged from a press conference] ...and the GC Corporation sucks!
[The other reporters whirl around towards President Clark]
Mike [as Reporter]: Is that true? Do you suck?

Morrissey: This is a song that I wrote in a time in my life when I was very, very, very sad. Breakfast, actually. It's called "Hairdresser in a Coma": I cried last night, I died a million deaths. Thinking of your sweet face, and the way you sing. I cried inside, we lied and died. And then I cried again. I must have weep for hours...

Mr. B Natural: Better wait 'til he calls on me, though... 'til he reaches for the spirit!
Servo: Yeah, calls for Satan.

Mr. B Natural: Knew your father, I did!
Joel: Hey, leave my father out of this!
Mr. B Natural: And your grandfather! And don't be too sure I wasn't in the garden with Mr. and Mrs. Adam!
Servo: Yeah, you were the snake!

Mr. B Natural: The spirit of music's inside all of you.
Crow: No, I bathe.
Mr. B Natural: In you... (points to the right while Servo makes missile noises) In you... (points to the left while Servo makes missile noises) In all of you! (Points straightforward while Crow imitates a missile hitting and Joel acts like he's hit)